What to Do When: a beloved show goes downhill (RIP "Family Guy")

I've always been partial to the Seth MacFarlane universe over the Matt Groening universe. I realize that just saying this will cause people to make all kinds of assumptions about me. So be it. It's something I don't readily admit in public, but I will admit it. The reason I bring this up is because I've run into a bit of a problem - "Family Guy" isn't even a shadow of what it once was. I opened this post with my personal preferences to preempt the obvious retort from non-fans - "It always sucked, moron." This isn't helpful. Right now, I want to talk about a familiar dilemma to TV fans. What do you do when a show you've loved isn't great anymore? It could've succumbed to a steady decline in quality over the years, as many shows organically do, or it could've suddenly and drastically become awful. I could write this post about many different shows I've fallen out of love with. "Brothers and Sisters" or "House" definitely qualified. But the "Family Guy" dilemma bothers me the most and has been on my mind recently, so I'm going to focus primarily on it here.

"Family Guy," for all its criticisms and accusations of plagiarism ("The Simpsons" does not own the nuclear family mold. That's like saying JRR Tolkien owns the wise old man archetype), was a clever show. It could be toilet-bowl crude and hilariously poignant. The "PTV" episode is a classic that comments on modern censorship. The "Road to..." episodes were a pleasant change-up from their formula. The cutaway gags were random, but in all the right ways. The musical numbers set it apart and showed that no matter what character he's playing, Seth MacFarlane can sing. But, like many shows, it declined in quality. I hung on for a long time because, while newer episodes were nothing special, they normally contained at least one joke that made me laugh my head off. The "London Gentlemen's Club" and "Distracting Trumpet" gags were in later episodes and I'm thankful I stuck around for them. And there was, of course, the comfort food quality of spending time with characters I'd enjoyed for so many years.

But these days, I can't even bring myself to tune in for old time's sake. I don't know what went wrong, but the writing is sloppy and the humor is nonexistent. The cutaway gags are now entirely a lazy crutch, the characters are all exaggerated manifestations of their worst qualities, and the 'messages' are self-indulgently preachy. Compare the early episodes with Peter's ultra-religious father with the later episodes about alcoholism or politics. The show relied too heavily on guest voices in later seasons, but stunt casting is nothing new and one of my lesser complaints.One of my bigger complaints it that "Family Guy" blew a huge opportunity when it parodied "Star Wars." Parody isn't even the right word because it was more like a shot-for-shot remake with "Family Guy" characters with an occasional quip here and there.

So why am I complaining so much about a show whose decline has been obvious and a long time coming? Because it brings me to the larger issue at hand - what does a loyal viewer do when a show isn't the same one you loved in previous seasons?

You could...

- Keep on watching and hang on until the bitter end.
If you can still stand it, maybe the comfort food quality is enough to overlook bad writing or acting. However, returning to a show after you drop it and realizing that it's still terrible can cause you to go through the mourning process all over again.

- Watch a show that's by the same people.
This is the solution I went with in this case. This way, you have a better chance of ensuring you'll get the same kind of humor or writing. I started watching "American Dad" this summer and have now seen every episode at least twice. Without the cutaway gags, it's forced to have a plot every week. Also, Roger is my favorite character in the entire MacFarlane universe. He's flexible and layered enough that I don't think he'll fall victim to the same kind of character change that happened to Stewie on "Family Guy." Stewie was rather one-note in the beginning of the series and kept developing to the point where he's actually been several different Stewies throughout the series. Luckily, we still get some musical numbers on "American Dad" to ease the transition. I don't care what anyone else says, Cee-Lo Green as a homicidal, singing hot tub is entertaining.

- Find a show similar to it.
If you can't find a show by the same people and just want a show similar in structure or genre, do that. Watch "The Simpsons," "The Cleveland Show," "South Park," or old "King of the Hills" if you want to stay in the realm of adult animation. If you're abandoning a sci-fi show, find another sci-fi show to fill the void, and so on. Not rocket science.

- Re-watch the show's old episodes.
...until you can't take it any more, that is. The reason I didn't jump ship to "American Dad" sooner is because I kept watching reruns of "Family Guy." Well, after you practically memorize each episode, it's time to move on. But until you get sick of it, re-watching the show from the beginning is as good an option as any. And some shows might never get old. I've been watching the same episodes of "Seinfeld" pretty much my entire life and I still enjoy them. "Will & Grace" has similarly never lost its charm with me.

- Bombard the Internet with your pent-up bitterness.
Like I'm doing now! Honestly, I get really annoyed by people who can't admit that shows they loved are not good anymore. You can admit that it sucks now and it won't diminish the affection you have for the show's earlier seasons. You don't have to swear off the entire show. Beyond just ranting to fellow viewers, commenting about the show's decline on the Internet at least helps raise awareness to the people in charge that the show is suffering and the fans know it and will not stand for it. Unwavering loyalty to a show is pretty crazy when the writers/producers/actors aren't putting in the same commitment and care that the viewer is.

"Cougar Town" - a salute to the Cul-de-Sac Crew

"Cougar Town" has basically no plot these days. The name is misleading and pointless. The characters never go to work. We never see Ellie and Andy's infant son. Travis is home every weekend despite going away to college. There aren't really many romantic entanglements or new love interests. There's hardly ever more than one occasional guest star. The show is completely aware of its faults and unreal aspects. It's all about a bunch of adults who act like kids, except for the copious amounts of wine they drink every episode. And it's one of my favorite shows on television right now.It's just the definition of 'silly fun.' You want to hang out with these people. For them, adulthood means drinking wine and playing Penny Can or one of the other hundred games they make up. This most recent episode, "Lost Children," exemplified this basic core of the show - friends having a blast. They played one big grown-up version of hide-and-seek. In the process, they snooped around their friends' houses, encountered "Waiting for Superman" (which is not about Superman), and dealt with some conflicts along the way. "Cougar Town" isn't genius. It isn't meticulously crafted like "Arrested Development" or random and non sequitur heavy like "Family Guy" or "Scrubs," but instead it could follow "Seinfeld"'s motto - it's a show about nothing. But, like "Seinfeld" taught us, a show about nothing can be incredibly hilarious and entertaining. "Seinfeld" derived humor from everyday life and relatable humorous situations, while "Cougar Town" derives humor from a make-believe version of what we wish our lives were like.

"Cougar Town" is getting the solo love-fest this week because "Modern Family" was a repeat. I will point out that "Modern Family" has definitely had a creative upswing in the latter half of its second season. My fears were unfounded and the writing is top-notch and whip-smart again. That being said, "Cougar Town" isn't just the highlight of my Wednesday, it's the highlight of my week.

Best quotes:

This week's title: Do we have to do this joke forever? "Cougar Town"

Travis: "Mom, I'm trying to fix the TV, but I need to know what you did to break it."
Jules: "I just pushed one of the buttons on the remote and it went to black."
Travis: "Mmhmm. And then?"
Jules: "After it went black, I pushed about a hundred other buttons and then I plugged and replugged a bunch of wires."

Travis (about "Waiting for Superman"): "It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a depressing expose about the failing public school system."

Barb: "You used to be one of us - stalking prey without mercy or shame."
Jules: "When are people going to understand? That's not who I am anymore. I mean, what do I have to do? Change my name?"
Barb: "You'll be back! The filth is strong within you!"

Everybody's 'trucker whoo'

Moving target Penny Can!

"Tossing copper" as new slang for Penny Can

Jules (on not being able to watch the documentary): "Damn it. I wanted to feel smart tonight. Smart and depressed about the world. Not dumb and happy like always."

Travis (talking about an article from his Psych class): "Adults can reduce their stress levels by embracing the activities they loved when they were little kids."
Grayson: "So we should all go hide in the shower and watch my babysitter pee?"
Jules: "No no no, this is good. I mean, not your thing. We're going to have to talk to a professional about that."

Laurie: "I love me some beef and bubbles. Oh! That should be our detective names! He's Beef, a grizzled ex-marine with a secret - he's a vegetarian. She's Bubbles, his plucky hot partner with a secret of her own - she's Beef's daughter. Together, they fight crime and each week, maybe they grow a little bit closer together."

Bobby: "We might as well watch this fake boring Superman documentary."
(later)
Bobby: "You know what's scarier than Lex Luthor? The decaying public education system that's cheating our young people out of a future."

Jules: "Now, you have an outside perspective of the Cul-de-Sac Crew. How do you see us?"
Travis: "Well, I see you guys as a bunch of old people with surprisingly good skin given the amount of wine and sun you take in."
Jules: "Yeah, I think the alcohol preserves us."

Grayson: "Hey, look, Travis' ironic t-shirt collection! 'Hey, I'm moody and sarcastic and I'm home for the tenth straight weekend because I don't understand how college works!'"

Ellie: "Look, when Andy's parents first moved here from Cuba they scraped up enough money to send him to prep school. So in walks this husky, balding 11 year old with a whole fried fish for lunch. He got terrorized by pretty boy D-bags like you named Wyatt or Deckland. And every time you tease him you remind him of those guys. Don't feed into it and you'll be fine."
Grayson: "No problem. Except for I just tied him to a tree, I gotta go get him."

Tom: "Why aren't you at college?"
Travis: "You know, Tom, I...don't...know."

Grayson: "Put my ice cream away and go get some wine and pillows and hide from Jules in the truck. I gotta go get Andy because I tied him to a tree."

Grayson: "Okay, so I probably shouldn't have tied you to a tree."
Andy: "Since I'm Cuban it's almost a hate crime."

Grayson: "Most of those cool guys, they're like me - divorced, struggling through life, peaked at 18..."
Andy: "Wow, you're a total loser."
Grayson: "What? No, I got Jules now."

Jules: "I swear to God, I will burn this whole Cul-de-Sac down!"

Bobby: "So ya'll bag on Sam once we left?"
Grayson: "What could we possibly say about her? We met her for like two seconds."
Bobby: "Well, that's all you're gonna get because she dumped me. Go ahead."
Ellie: "Bad hair, weird nose, thick neck."
Grayson: "She shook my hand with her fingertips. What are you, the Queen of France?"
Laurie: "Her face made me want to learn how to box."

My Top 10: Fictional Eateries I want to visit

It's roughly mid-month, which means it's time for another bizarrely themed Top 10 list! This time I'm profiling some of my favorite imaginary restaurants and cafes from movies and television. Since I've missed out on some really popular shows, I like to refrain from saying "the greatest X of all time," instead substituting "my favorite X of all time." As always, I (futilely) encourage feedback, so you're always free to dispute my choices or offer your own.

10. Monk's from "Seinfeld"An absolutely iconic eatery in television history, this one ranks so low because the food looked like it sucked. But when Reggie's, the bizarro coffee shop, is your only other option, Monk's starts to look like five-star cuisine. If nothing else, I hear the Big Salad is good.

9. Java the Hut from "Veronica Mars" I admit it, this one gets a spot partly because of the awesome name. But it also had plenty of great music acts in addition to secret private investigator meetings. It has the perfect atmosphere of teen hangout mixed with film noir.

8. The Soup Nazi's place from "Seinfeld" Once you get past the delicate ordering procedure, it sounds like the soup is totally worth it. Word to the wise - if they forget to give you bread, just let it go.

7. Rick's Cafe Americain from "Casablanca"Of all the gin joints in all the world, this one is the definition of cool. Suave, classy, and full of intriguing people, Rick's Cafe is the place to be. Referencing any more of the famous quotes would be too easy, so I'll just say that this movie really never does get old...even as time goes by (too easy, but I can't resist).

6. Any diner from any gangster movieIt's basically a requirement for any major gangster, crime drama to have the characters discuss their plans in a diner. Tarantino particularly enjoys this trope, whether the characters openly discuss robbing a diner like in "Pulp Fiction" or they discuss the validity of tipping or the meaning of Madonna songs like in "Reservoir Dogs." So why would I want to visit those places? Because you're guaranteed some drama and shady patrons. The rest of my choices are pretty tame by comparison, so this is my one wild selection.

5. The Krusty Krab from "Spongebob Squarepants"The episode where Squidward tried his first Krabby Patty sealed the deal for me - I must have one. They may not be the most healthy food option under the sea, but they're good for your soul.

4. Coffee Bucks from "Scrubs" (or "Cougar Town") Bill Lawrence carried over his fictional coffee chain into "Cougar Town," but it was featured prominently in "Scrubs" first when Kelso put one in the hospital. You'd be guaranteed to run into everyone from Sacred Heart here. Just be sure that you don't pass on your coffee-drinking ways to your kids.

3. La Chocolaterie Maya from "Chocolat"This definitely places high on a list of 'movies not to watch while hungry.' As far as my sweet tooth goes, I would be fine if chocolate was the only candy I could eat for the rest of my life. Vienne knows all sorts of long-held secrets of chocolate preparation, so mix that in with the natural beauty of the French village and you've got one great hot spot for chocolate lovers.

2. Luke's Diner from "Gilmore Girls"
I just wish I could move to Stars Hollow for a few months. Luke makes the best cup of coffee in town, according to the local coffee experts Lorelai and Rory. He'll make you something unique (if he likes you) and handle orders with charm and patience. Not to mention there's always plenty of local character.

1. The Pie Hole from "Pushing Daises"I'm not even a big fan of pie, but if the Piemaker bakes it himself, I'll definitely make the exception. Unlike Keri Russell's inspired pies in "Waitress," the town in "Pushing Daisies" isn't nearly as depressing and the pies are far more magical. This place has the most local color of all since it's like stepping into a fantasy land. The show was best described as a 'forensic fairy tale' and, really, who wouldn't want to take a visit to that genre?

Honorable mention: Good Burger from "All That" and "Good Burger," The Drunken Clam from "Family Guy," Weston's from "Gilmore Girls," Independence Inn or Dragonfly Inn from "Gilmore Girls," any of "Chuck"'s random restaurants (Lou's sandwich place, the Orange Orange, Wienerlicious), Pizza Planet from the "Toy Story" movies, Sacred Heart Cafeteria from "Scrubs"

"Dexter" season finale - "Don't be sorry your darkness is gone"

"Dexter" ended its run Sunday night with "The Big One," an episode that wrapped up all the storylines very neatly. A little too neatly, I thought, but it was still a good season ender. Not having a cliffhanger is a return to the norm for this show, as some people are forgetting since Rita's death was really the only big shocking cliffhanger we've ever had on "Dexter."
Basically, Jordan captured Lumen, Dexter came after him, got caught briefly until he turned the tables and he and Lumen finally killed Jordan. Liddy's body was found in the van and Quinn was immediately put under suspicion because of Liddy's phone. Things with him worked out in the end as well as Dexter covered up the blood match on Quinn's shoe and Debra came back to him. Deb caught the vigilantes (sort of) at the scene and let them go. Lumen completed her mission and realized that her place was not with Dexter. No surprise there. The biggest pitfall you get with bigger name guest stars is you're painfully aware that they are guest stars, nothing more. Batista and LaGuerta decided to give it one more try. Astor and Cody are going to spend the summer with Dexter.

If I have one complaint, it's that this finale went a little too smoothly. Especially the Jordan confrontation, in my opinion. All this time, all this build-up, and they finally get the son of a bitch. And that's it. I didn't need some big tragedy or major twist, but it felt too easy. I would have liked maybe one more surprise to how that showdown went down. I was secretly thrilled that Jordan took Lumen to the old camp. I figured that one out last week, way before Dexter. (Okay, I'm sure lots of other people figured it out too.) But the horror fan in me was excited that the big rescue would take place at an abandoned campsite. The car crash seemed a bit excessive and perhaps it was there to create that extra tension I wanted? Really, it just made a plot hole of a giant piece of evidence with Dexter's blood in it. Not to mention it just felt like a retread of the time Dexter crashed his car a few seasons ago. Another thing that appealed to the geek in me was the fruit stand guy noticing the shifty Jordan with an obvious body in his trunk. ("Dammit, why is there always a fruit stand?!")

Debra was really the fascinating part of this episode, in my opinion. First of all, I have no idea how she made it this long as a cop living in Miami not knowing Spanish. Second, I enjoyed the moral dilemma she faced when she caught Dexter and Lumen at the camp. I went from thinking she would let them go to realizing she wouldn't to realizing she actually would. I really loved that scene and the frustration written on her face. "Maybe it's true some people deserve to die. But I'm a cop and I don't make that fucking decision. So I'm gonna call this in. In an hour this place is gonna be swarming with police. If I were you I'd be gone by then." I thought after all the time she spent watching the rape videos she would be mostly okay with her decision. But she really is a cop 100% and couldn't help but be bothered by her actions. As she said, decisions of life and death aren't hers to make. But how could she bring herself to arrest two people who were taking out such monsters that the cops wanted stopped anyway? Perhaps if she looked at things as simply as "killing is always wrong. No matter what." But as she thought later, "you think someone's a good cop, and then they...do something. I don't know, all I'm saying is nothing is as simple as it seems." She's certainly growing as a character. She wants so desperately to see things as black-and-white, right and wrong, but life just does not work that way at all. At least she gets to know that Jordan got his. Knowing that Trinity is out there on the run (as far as she knows) is bad enough already, no need to add to the list of "the ones who got away."

Dexter and Lumen had their requisite wrap-up, which was touching but inevitable. I was so nervous on that boat that she would jump off or get shot randomly or something bad would happen because it was such a beautiful moment. I was terrified she would commit suicide, leaving a note saying that the peace she felt after killing her tormentors didn't last. But no, the writers weren't unbelievably cruel. She and Dexter just acknowledged that her Dark Passenger was satisfied, but Dexter's never would be. They weren't the same, after all. I am happy that Dexter will have his kids over the summer though. I'm glad to see Astor and Cody back in his life and happy after all the turmoil. It would be too mean to leave Dexter alone again after all of this. I liked the touch that Astor's question to Dexter - if helping Lumen made him feel better about what happened to Rita - was left unanswered. Rita wasn't acknowledged as much as I think she should have been this season, but Lumen was the response to her death. Lumen was Dexter's grieving process. (On a random note, is it possible for two blond parents to have two brunette children? That stuck out to me all of a sudden at the end.)

We didn't get a big Quinn-Dexter confrontation either. I'm glad, but it seems strange that Quinn would just drop it, even if he knows Dexter helped him. Maybe they'll pick it up again next season or something.

I'll close out this entry with this finale's summing-up-the-season speech:
"You can’t do one thing to make up for another. That’s what Jordan Chase says. But he’s wrong, because we do that all the time. That is the way the world works. We try to make things right. Even me. Lumen said I gave her her life back, a reversal of my usual role. Well the fact is she gave me mine back too. And I’m left not with what she took from me but with what she brought. Eyes that saw me, finally, for who I really am. And this certainty that nothing - nothing - is set in stone. Not even darkness. While she was here she made me think for the briefest moment that I might even have a chance to be human. But wishes, of course, are for children."

Songs I'm ashamed to admit I know all the words to (Part 1)

I love Spongebob Squarepants. The cartoon started at a time where I was still just barely young enough to watch cartoons and it began in 1999, so I classify it as the last great cartoon of the 90s Nick era. I was a child of the 90s, and all you have to do is look at the Children of the 90s blog to see how strong our nostalgia is for the time period. One post I've always hoped they would do is a list about 90s songs you're ashamed to say you know by heart still - even the ones you haven't actually heard since the 90s. This is why I bring up Spongebob. I know that he lives in a pineapple under the sea, et ceterea, et cetera, but Spongebob still airs so I'm not that ashamed to admit I know the theme song by heart. Honestly, that's not that big a feat, tons of people probably know the theme song. (But how many people know the FUN song, which is my favorite Spongebob musical number?) But that got me to thinking of all the songs I still know the words to that I really should have forgotten by now or should not know in the first place. Most of them come from my childhood, but plenty others are current or come from before I was born so I don't really have a good excuse there. But in celebration of summer randomness and openness, I decided to make a list of songs that I am ashamed to say that I know all the words to. They are in no particular order, although you can judge for yourself how embarassing each one is. (Note: I'm just guessing where lyric cut-off lines are. I'll fact check only to a certain point. So if you're a music snob or something, be warned).

1. The FCC Song from "Family Guy" - I figured I'd start with an obvious one. I'm tvgirl, of course I know the FCC song. "PTV" is one of the best episodes of "Family Guy" ever and they're at their best when they go musical. I also know the words to Road to Rhode Island, Awfully Different, The AIDS and Vascectomy songs, My Drunken Irish Dad, You've Got a Lot To See, and plenty others. But my favorite is the FCC song.
My favorite lyric: So they sent this little warning/they're prepared to do their worst/and they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coerced/I can think of quite another place they should've stuck it first
2. Summer Girls by LFO - this wins my award for most random song ever written. Good thing I had this song to school me on important things like the fact that New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, peaches come from Georgia, and that Billly Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.
My favorite lyric: Call you up but what's the use/I like Kevin Bacon but I hate "Footloose"

3. The "Reading Rainbow" theme song - that great theme song. LeVar Burton. VHS tapes. PBS. Children's books. "Reading Rainbow" was a childhood staple and one of many great educational programs on public television. But you don't have to take my word for it!

My favorite lyric: I can be anything/take a look/it's in a book/of Reading Rainbow!
4. See You Again by Miley Cyrus - time for a more recent yet more embarassing one. I didn't say I necessarily liked all these songs, but I'll be honest and say this is the only Miley Cyrus song I couldn't resist.

My favorite lyric: OoOHooOHoh I/ I can't wait/to see you again

5. The Pokemon theme song - and back to my childhood. This one I'm not ashamed to admit and the theme song had a great 80s wanna-be-tough feel to it. I loved Pokemon back in the day, which probably stemmed from my love of anime as a kid. Yes, I was one of those people. But don't worry, I grew out of it. Mostly. (I'll never say anything bad about "Dragonball Z" or "Yu Yu Hakusho.") I'll also confess something even worse: I can still say the entire Pokemon rap song.
My favorite lyric: I want to be the very best/like no one ever was/to catch them is my real test/to train them is my cause!

6. Let's Hear it for the Boy by Deniece Williams - speaking of the 80s..."Footloose!" "Footloose" had a great soundtrack that is a perfect slice of 80s awesomeness. Also, Matt Damon sings some of it on an episode of "Will & Grace." Need I say more?

My favorite lyric: Maybe he's no Romeo/but he's my lovin' one-man show/oohooohoohooh!

7. Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega - and on to the 90s again! Lots of the cheese of the 80s persisted into cheesy albeit feel-good 90s songs. All Mambo No. 5 was missing was an awkward group dance. Okay, the lyrics include directions, but I don't recall it sweeping the nation like the Macarena or something.

My favorite lyric: Do all the "aaah!"s and "Mambo number five!"s and "the trumpet!"s count?

8. One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head - I know I'm a little crazy since I love 80s music, but some of the songs are so wacky and bizarre that I enjoy hearing something a lot different than Top 40. Granted, this song was originally from the musical "Chess" (don't know it? Don't blame ya), but it became a chart topper out in the real world. In my world, I just thought this song was amazing and I knew I had to learn all the lyrics. Mission accomplished. There's nothing quite like a song that says "Exotic locales? Danger? Wild sex? Nah, let's have a real party and play some chess!"

My favorite lyric: You're talkin' to a tourist whose every move's among the purest/I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

9. Super Nova Girl from "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century" - this was a Disney channel staple back in my day, and like many good kid movies, it ended with a big music number. Because, as we all know, all young teens worship a band, want to be in a band, or do both. There were lots of fun words in this song that I didn't really understand, but sounded very science-y and future-y.

My favorite lyric: Zoom zoom zoom/make by heart go boom boom (of course!)
10. What Dreams Are Made Of from "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" - yeah, while we're on the subject, I'll add the other movie that proves I was pretty damn girly at one point. What makes this even better is that I saw this movie on TV the other day and just had to watch it. That was the moment I realized I still knew the big song at the end, where Lizzie gets to be a mega pop singer for a little bit and show the world the star inside her. What else could a girl want?

My favorite lyric: Then I see you smile and I go oh oh oh (Can you tell I love the parts where you can sing along annoyingly?)

11. Cinderella by the Cheetah Girls from "The Cheetah Girls" movie - might as well go on to another girly Disney movie. Once again, the dream of a young girl is to be in a band. I liked "The Cheetah Girls" because it had a lot of music in it. I grew up with kids movies that were normally part musicals, so I liked the random moments of bursting into song. I like to say that the reason I watched this movie so many times was so I could figure out what each girl's name was. Aquanette, Dorinda, Galleria, and Chanel? Seriously? I also know the words to Together We Can, Girl Power and, of course, the Cheetah girls song at the end of the movie. Cinderella was my favorite though - it was the perfect mix of Disney girl power and pop.

My favorite lyric: I can slay my own dragons/I can dream my own dreams/My knight in shining armor is me/so I'm gonna set me free

12. Piano Man by Billy Joel - Something a little more grown up, I hope. I do love me some Billy Joel. My favorite is Only the Good Die Young and of course I know all the words to that, but Piano Man is longer and more pensive. This is the kind of song you really get into, swelling up into the emotional "he said SON will you PLAY me a MEMORY!" And then sit back and hum along to "la da di dee daa" as you make love to your tonic and gin. This is one of those songs I guess I'm not so ashamed to know as I think everyone should know this one and be able to belt it out at a moment's notice.

My favorite lyric: And he's talking with Davy/who's still in the Navy/and probably will be for life...Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness

13. "Firefly" theme song - This one goes into the ashamed pile because it exposes me as a Browncoat. Okay, I wouldn't be ashamed, "Firefly" is amazing, but I'm afraid to mention it because I'm afraid to be mistaken for a Whedonite. Long story for another blog post, but "Buffy" hasn't struck me in the way "Firefly" did. Once again, the show gets major points for actually having a theme song. More points for having a theme with actual words, not just an instrumental riff. This theme captures the tone of the show perfectly. It makes me sad sometimes that we live in a world where "One Tree Hill" gets more seasons than "Firefly." I've watched a lot of genius, short-lived shows in my day, but "Firefly" is the most painful cancellation yet. You might think all the posthumous hype would be impossible to live up to, but this is one case where fans really aren't exaggerating the quality level.

My favorite lyric: Take me out to the black/tell them I ain't coming back/burn the land and boil the sea/you can't take the sky from me
14. The Saga Begins by Weird Al - Growing up with a brother, it was almost impossible to avoid liking Weird Al. Plenty of his music stays with me even now, but this is the only one I still remember all the words to. I knew this song before the original song it was based on, American Pie, so when I hear American Pie I automatically launch into "my my this here Anakin guy." I had this problem with many other songs used in "Moulin Rouge;" since I was young at the time, I remember songs as being part of a "Moulin Rouge" medly before I remember them as original songs from years before the movie. But I still like Weird Al's version of the song better.

My favorite lyric: But their response didn't thrill us/they locked the doors and tried to kill us

15. I Believe I Can Fly by R. Kelly - Another childhood memory. "Space Jam" is often overlooked in lists of 90s kid movies, but I remember particularly loving it. Don't know why, I'm not really into basketball. Or the Looney Tunes. Maybe it was because the movie taught me the power of believing in myself. Or because Wayne Knight a.k.a Newman was in it. Both are strong selling points.

My favorite lyric: I see me running through that open door (I really hope this symbolizes opportunity instead of Heaven, which is what I thought when I was a kid. Hey, the song had a real gospel feel to it!)

16. Cell Block Tango from "Chicago" - I know all the songs in "Chicago" by heart, but it's a tad embarassing to admit that my favorite isn't the famous All That Jazz or I Move On, but the saucy Cell Block Tango. Also, even in quick voiceover moments, Taye Diggs is still sexy.

My favorite lyric: So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots/into his head....He saw himself as alive/and I saw him dead (Brings a whole new meaning to "female empowerment," huh?)

17. Tradition from "Fiddler on the Roof" - Speaking of musicals, another one I can quote in its entirety - songs and everything else. I feel like being able to recite all of Tradition at the drop of a hat is a bigger skill considering a lot of it is dialogue. Singing along with Tevye to If I Were a Rich Man or To Life is fun, but getting Tradition down takes some nerdy dedication.

My favorite lyric: You may ask "how did this tradition get started?"/I'll tell you/I don't know/but it's a tradition!

18. It Wasn't Me by Shaggy - this goes under the category of Why on Earth do I Know this Song? Probably because it's catchy as all get-out and it was on the radio enough for the lyrics to infiltrate my mind and never leave. It's kind of annoying when a song about a lying cheating douchebag is catchy and made for singing along. It also had that incomprehensible interlude by that Jamaican dude. Oh, I guess that doesn't count then for "knowing all the words," but really, who does know what that guy is saying? Also, this song gets filed under another category of Songs that Sound Like they're Sung By Women. Sorry, Shaggy, but if you weren't singing about your girl catching you, I'd have assumed you were a girl.

My favorite lyric: My girl just caught me/you let her catch you?/...I don't know what to do/say it wasn't you/alright!

19. La Tortura by Shakira - I don't know Spanish. There might be some stuck over from high school wafting around my head, but I probably don't know enough to form a coherent sentence at this point. So the fact that I know every word to this lesser known Shakira song that is entirely in Spanish is completely bizarre. Even more embarassing - I may know the words to sing along, but I don't know what most of them mean. This is normally the part where someone tells me the translated words are unspeakably filthy.

My favorite lyric: I'm afraid to even bother.

20. Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) by Cobra Starship - I finally got around to seeing "Snakes on a Plane" on TV and was glad I never spent money on it, not that I would have anyway. All you have to do is watch Samuel L Jackson's famous clip and you've seen the movie. But one good thing came out of it - an awesome song. If only the lyrics were more generic and weren't so related to the movie, it might have had better life on its own.

My favorite lyric: Pop the cheap champagne/we're going down in flames, hey!

21. Love Will Keep Us Together by the Captain and Tennille - Blame this on "Will & Grace." Will and Grace sing it together when they have their old-fashioned piano party, and I thought it was so cute I downloaded the song. A million plays later, I still love this sweet 70s song. I didn't exist in the 70s, but even I know I should be ashamed that I'm a fan of a Captain and Tennille number.

My favorite lyric: Young and beautiful/someday your looks will be gone/when the others turn you off/who'll be turnin' you on?/I will, I will, I will

Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll embarass myself some more...