Comparing Action Movie Franchises (Worldwide & Domestic Grosses)

And now for a comparison of the box office statistics instead of the critical ratings. Take these with a grain of salt, though, since I'm not aiming for absolute statistical accuracy. I'm using a combination of Wikipedia and IMDB stats and rounding them, so these are rough numbers. However, they're still accurate enough to get the trends across. The only major difference between the worldwide and domestic grosses seems to be the fact that "Die Hard with a Vengeance" did better than "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" worldwide, but did worse domestically.

Comparing Action Movie Franchises (Die Hard, Mission Impossible, Indiana Jones)

As I wrote my previous blog post and started comparing movie franchises in my head, I wondered how they stacked up against one another over time in the ratings. I'm talking solely about their quality, not their box office revenue. So I went to Rotten Tomatoes and charted their trajectories according to the general consensus of professional critics.

"Die Hard" franchise includes:
"Die Hard" - 1988 (94%)
"Die Hard 2: Die Harder" - 1990 (65%)
"Die Hard with a Vengeance" - 1995 (50%)
"Live Free or Die Hard" - 2007 (82%)

"Mission Impossible" franchise includes:
"Mission Impossible" - 1996 (60%)
"Mission Impossible 2" - 2000 (57%)
"Mission Impossible 3" - 2006 (70%)

"Indiana Jones" franchise includes:
"Raiders of the Lost Ark" - 1981 (94%)
"Temple of Doom" - 1984 (85%)
"The Last Crusade" - 1989 (89%)
"Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" - 2008 (77%)

I don't entirely agree with all of these ratings, but they do manage to give you an idea of what direction each franchise has gone. The second "Die Hard" is in no way better than the third. "Live Free or Die Hard" suffers a lot of backlash among fans, but it deserves its rating. It was not the complete and utter mess people say it is, it just wasn't what they were expecting/wanting. And I think it's a downright travesty that "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" is rated at 77% while "Mission Impossible: 3" stands at 70%. Not that MI3 needs to be that much higher, it's more like that last Indy movie was horrendous and superfluous.

12 years passed between the previous two "Die Hard" movies, while a whopping 19 years passed between the previous two "Indiana Jones" movies. To put even more weird perspective on this, when Sean Connery played Indiana Jones' father in "The Last Crusade," Connery was 58 years old. In "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," Harrison Ford was 65 years old. I love you Harrison Ford, but Bruce Willis and Tom Cruise can still handle being action stars while I think your time has come and gone. And really, with characters like Han Solo and Indiana Jones under your belt, you really shouldn't have to stoop to doing any more "Indiana Jones" movies today.

"Die Hard 5" - How about "Just Die Already...Hard"?

I adore "Die Hard." "Die Harder" was a big letdown. "Die Hard with a Vengeance" is pretty entertaining, and has Samuel L Jackson, so that's a plus. "Live Free or Die Hard" is very divisive but I fall on the side of loving every insane minute of it. But I do agree that it's not entirely a true "Die Hard" movie. John McClane was no longer the everyman, but the classic indestructible cop hero of action cinema.

Lately it's been announced that the next movie is about to be shot and is called "A Good Day to Die Hard." Really? That doesn't sound very badass. It will be set in Russia, which is helping sell it for me. I love a good action movie set in Russia, even though Russians as antagonists is a wildly outdated movie concept. Who knows, maybe it'll be set in Russia for some ridiculous reason but the whole country won't be portrayed as the villain. I don't know how they're going to get John McClane there, but I'm curious as hell to find out. Can we work Putin in here somehow? Yippi-ki-yay, comrade.

And now, according to this Variety article, they're searching for an actor to play McClane's son to take over the franchise. My first reaction was, 'because that worked so well for Indiana Jones.' My second immediate reaction was, 'why not just go with Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Lucy McClane?' I loved her in the fourth movie. Even though she had to be the damsel in distress, she held her own and I could definitely see her stepping up to the plate. I guess as long as they don't go with Shia LaBeouf, I'm good. It's just that I would really love to see them be unique and let a woman step up and take over. Why does this even have to continue though? Short answer, money. But creatively, the series just needs to end. With all the 80s remakes coming left and right, it's almost cliche to say it, but think of a new idea already! I just blogged about what to do when your favorite TV shows go downhill. Well, what do you do when a film franchise you loved starts going downhill?

Yes, I loved the last "Die Hard" entry, but what are the odds that this next one is any good? Maybe I'm being too pessimistic, considering this is all coming from a person who is counting down the days until "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol." Who cares if the franchise distances itself so far from its original premise that it's something entirely new? Can't it be a good action movie in its own right, even if it bears no resemblance to its predecessors? "Live Free or Die Hard" still had some call-backs to the other films. John McClane wasn't the vulnerable hero anymore, but in the end the villains were executing a highly convoluted, complicated scheme just to commit a robbery (like in "Die Hard"s 1 and 3). On one hand, we have the Indiana Jones franchise, that sputtered and turned out a crappy attempt to continue the series. On the other hand, we have the Mission Impossible franchise that came back with a very strong third installment and what looks like a solid fourth movie as well that will try to hand off the leading man role to Jeremy Renner. Perhaps this could work. (One thing that would certainly help is if they reinstated the R rating. Let the blood and swearing fly, McClane! I want a grown-up action movie, and an R gives it that freedom.)

No matter how this turns out, I still know where I'll be Valentine's Day of 2013 - going to a theater to see "A Good Day to Die Hard." And quite honestly, any day is a good day for "Die Hard." (So long as they don't fuck this up as bad as the last Indiana Jones movie!)

Tvgirl's Fourth of July Movie Picks

As I walked about our nation's capitol this week and evening, surveying the best of America's history, I was overcome with the irresistible desire to watch movies. It's not my fault I associate the National Archives with "National Treasure." And there's only so many Disney songs, depressing Josh Groban songs, and banjo medleys by comedians in front of the Capitol Building I can take before I long for Nicholas Cage to school me on our Founding Fathers.

For every holiday, there is at least one movie or TV show that can be used to celebrate the occasion. Whether it's an annual showing of "Shaun of the Dead" on Halloween, "It's a Wonderful Life" on Christmas, or the Robin Sparkles "Let's Go to the Mall" music video from "How I Met Your Mother" on Canada Day. The Fourth of July is an outdoorsy holiday, so I recommend watching movies the day before or after. But before or after you enjoy your barbecue and fireworks, sit back and relax with these July Fourth classics (or movies marginally related to patriotic-like themes.)


8. "The Sandlot"One of my most vivid memories of this movie, aside from the big scary dog and drug use, is the Independence Day celebration. To this day, I think of this film when I hear Ray Charles' version of "America the Beautiful."

7. "Glory"I remember this one primarily for watching it in high school history class, but I recall it being a pretty good movie. The ending is rather depressing, though, so I wouldn't recommend it if you want a feel-good holiday flick.

6. "The Patriot"If you can stomach the historical inaccuracy and presence of Mel Gibson, this is a great movie for national pride. Hey, Heath Ledger is in it too! Does that cancel out Mel?

5. "1776"Okay, this is the one I watched a lot as a youngster learning my history in school. I can't even recall if it's any good, but it's a musical! If you're looking for something really different from the usual, tired July Fourth movies that air on TV every year, maybe you should give this one a try.

4. "Forrest Gump"It may not be entirely about the Fourth of July, but this film is so embedded in American history I can justify putting it this high. If the sight of Forrest and Jenny running into each others' arms in the Reflecting Pool doesn't fill you with joy then you clearly have no soul.

3. "National Treasure"I'm a sucker for nerd heroes. It's why those "Librarian" movies on TNT with Noah Wyle will always have a special place in my heart and the Doctor is the greatest TV hero of all time. Intellectual heroes rock. And we all love a good conspiracy theory and treasure hunt. But at the end of the day, there's something uniquely entertaining about a summer blockbuster that so gleefully revels in the subject of American history.

2. "Live Free or Die Hard"If nerds aren't quite your thing, you can take them in in small doses in this great summer action movie. John McClane drags Mac guy along for a wild ride while Nikita and Raylan Givens try to dismantle the nation's infrastructure. Also, Kevin Smith! And at least in this one, when the Capitol Building "blows up," it's not supposed to be fun (it's not a Michael Bay movie, after all). For some strange reason, despite being set on the Fourth of July, the movie was released in June. Huh.

1. "Independence Day"The grand daddy of July 4th movies. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum save Earth from damn dirty aliens. Talk about the greatest, 90s action/thriller/scifi movie casting. When I first saw "War of the Worlds," all I could think of was how I rather be watching this movie. I don't want aliens to be defeated by dumb luck (and I do mean dumb) - I want them to be defeated by all humans rallying together in a display of solidarity and bravery. I don't want Tom Cruise and his stupid, whiny kids running all around while people get massacred - I want Jeff Goldblum incomprehensibly hacking into advanced alien technology. I don't want Tim Robbins spazzing out in a basement - I want Randy Quaid flying a plane up the ass of an alien spaceship. "In the words of my generation: up yours!"

My Top 10: Best movie picks for Christmas

I've been torn on how to do a Christmas post. There are so many things I could write about but that makes it that much more difficult to decide on something. I initially wanted to do a Christmas movie viewing guide similar to my Halloween one, but my knowledge of Christmas movies is woefully slim compared to my knowledge of horror movies. Also, there are plenty of Christmas movies I've seen but do not like. So I settled for a compromise - an all-inclusive list of my favorite Christmas movies and everyone else's favorite Christmas movies. Contrary to my title of "top" 10, these aren't two lists of greatest or most popular movies by rank. It's a list of my favorite Christmas movies and then five more that are insanely popular that I don't like but everyone else does.

Their Top 5

5. "Love Actually"Why I don't love it: It would be cute if it was any one or two of those stories. But instead it's like watching the first five minutes and the last five minutes of twenty different movies. Too little time is dedicated to the most interesting storylines. And the big "All I Want for Christmas is You" number just feels like a desperate (albeit successful) effort to make it an event Christmas movie to watch every year. The pumped up, feel-good climax still doesn't make this movie very good. Although I have to admit, I love Rowan Atkinson in it as the gift wrapper at the jewelry counter.

4. Those animated TV specials ("Rudolph, The Red-nosed Reindeer," "The Year Without a Santa Claus," "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town," etc.)Why I don't love it: This is shallow, but stop motion animation freaks me out. Animated inanimate objects are unnatural and really really creepy.

3. "Elf"
Why I don't love it: I don't hate Will Ferrell, but the subgenre of comedies that revolve around grown men acting like children doesn't quite appeal to me. I don't hate this movie, it just doesn't do anything for me. It's one of those performances where I am painfully aware watching it that I'm supposed to think all the quirky antics are hilarious, if you know what I mean.

2. "It's a Wonderful Life"Why I don't love it: Before you freak out, I don't hate this movie. I don't even not like it. It's a very good movie. I just don't love it. It's a little too saccharine for me. And not that I have anything against this, but it's a pretty depressing movie for Christmas. Suicide isn't the most holiday-friendly topic. But I suppose I'm a hypocrite because I'm watching it as I type this. Blame it on my family. I am really enjoying the George Bailey-less Pottersville. Without George, the entire town becomes a Las Vegas-esque den of iniquity. It's almost like an episode of "The Twilight Zone."

1. "A Christmas Story"Why I don't love it: This one I hate. I started out sort of liking it and went to sort of disliking it and then to absolutely loathing it. Mainly because I've been forced to watch this movie every year, multiple times a Christmas season and I am sick of it. That 24 hour marathon of it on TBS doesn't help matters. I don't mind my family putting on "It's a Wonderful Life" because it means they aren't putting on "A Christmas Story." I want that bratty little kid to shoot his eye out or get his tongue stuck permanently to that flagpole. Much like "Home Alone" makes me glad not to have a huge family, this one makes me glad I didn't have to live in the 40s. I can't stand that whole family.

My Top 5

5. "Home Alone"Why I love it: It was written by John Hughes and the score was composed by John Williams. This is another one riddled with quotable moments and it made me so grateful to be from a relatively small family.

4. "Jingle All the Way"Why I love it: It gets lost amidst all the other classics and it's by no means a high quality movie, but it's a classic in my family. My siblings and I watched it every year as kids and still quote it regularly. Arnold Schwarzenegger goes on a hunt for the hot toy of the year, Turboman, and the ensuing chaos is relatable for anyone who has ever done holiday shopping. Phil Hartman is in it as well as the perfect neighbor with the hots for Arnold's wife while Arnold faces off against Sinbad as a crazy fellow father searching for a Turboman. It's not genius, but it's definitely an underrated Christmas movie.

3. "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
Why I love it: Sad sack Charlie Brown tries to get involved to cure his depression and gets schooled on what Christmas is all about. Despite its 'keep the Christ in Christmas' message, it's still a classic and enjoyable for everyone. It's from another time and has an innocence that makes it hard to resist. Also, there's a fun version done by the "Scrubs" cast that I just love.

2. "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
Why I love it: What kind of grinch doesn't love Dr. Seuss? There's rhyming and a sweet message that isn't as overtly religious as the Charlie Brown one. Just because we all give gifts at Christmas doesn't mean it's not about the family and friends we spend it with.

1. "Die Hard" Why I love it: I love action movies and this is the holy grail. One man takes on a whole lot of bad guys - at Christmas. Alan Rickman is perfection. I rather see him plotting the perfect robbery than cheating on his wife in "Love Actually." Nothing says Christmas like explosions and machine guns. Ho ho ho.