"Modern Family" - Slow Down Your Neighbors
"Modern Family" returned with a strong episode this week that revolved mainly around crazy (and crazy hot) neighbors. James Marsden guest starred as the hot tub intruder Barry while Claire fought to slow down a reckless speeder. Meanwhile, Jay tried to teach Gloria to overcome her fear and ride a bike. Each storyline was solid and had plenty of hilarious gems. Honestly, I can take or leave the stunt casting. But that being said, Marsden was still fun. And still smoking hot. I loved Mitchell and Cam's pre-credits sequence.Best Quotes:
Cam: "Mitchell, there's a stranger in our hot tub!
Mitchell: "Who is it?"
Cam: "You do know what 'stranger' means, don't you?"
Mitchell: "Oh my god, how long has he been there?"
Cam: "I saw him exactly one second before you, you know everything I know."
Mitchell: "Okay, I'm calling 911."
Cam: "I'm getting my bat."
(They get a good look at 'the stranger')
Mitchell: "Maybe we're overreacting."
Cam: "Yeah, he could have a very good reason."
Mitchell: "We should at least say 'hello.'"
Cam: "It's only polite."
I have to say that they use Luke perfectly on this show. He's turning into my favorite Dunphy.
Luke (scoffing): "Police. Order a pizza and call the cops, we'll see who gets here first."
Phil: "'Luke, I am your father!' That's what I said to you when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts."
Claire trying to remember the car's license number while Phil wrote down an address was great. "Okay, 10-4. This could be my best year since 2006!"
Jay: "Two-thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do."
Phil: "Bring it, Laura. You want to test me? I've been tested my whole life. They could never find anything."
Cam: "You do this every time we meet a new friend. They say one thing you don't like and you just write them off."
Mitchell: "I do not!"
Cam: "Oh really? What about 'But-Yet Rachel'?"
Mitchell: "'I'd love to go, but yet I don't feel like parking.' It's either 'but' or 'yet', not both!"
Cam: "You're lucky no one's kicked your butt, yet. What about Thomas? You wrote him off because he serves the salad after the meal. Which, by the way, is very common in Europe."
Mitchell: "What part of Europe is he from? Pretentious-stan?"
Cam: "Okay, fine, keep judging. Don't let anyone in. I could care less."
Mitchell: "I think you mean you couldn't care less because if you could care less it means that you care a little bit."
Cam: "All right. I'm going into the hot tub. If I stay in here one more minute my head is literally gonna explode."
Mitchell: "Well I hope not because if you mean literally-"
Cam: "-I don't feel safe in my own home!
Mitchell (about his tendency to roll his eyes): "I once saw a picture of myself at a friend's poetry slam, and all you could see were the whites of my eyes."
Jay: "We're riding bikes, we're not training police dogs."
Luke as a teacher was my favorite thing in this episode.
Luke (offering to teach Gloria to ride a bike): I never taught anyone anything. But my playdate canceled, so I was wide open.
Phil: "I wish I were one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life - you know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana."
Phil: "Claire was furious. She said I betrayed her on every level. So, I called the florist, and I have ordered one dozen Mylar balloons. Good luck staying mad, honey!"
"Cougar Town" - No Reason to Cry
"Cougar Town" is still at the top of its game, silly and quirky as ever. I'm so happy to have the Cul-de-Sac Crew back! I loved the running gag of Andy and Ellie providing fake names to screw the other person over. At first I thought that they were a one-note couple, but they're really cute together. Especially when they're trying to escape "Jules' friend prison." The changing of the coffee sizes was fantastic as well and I knew instantly I had to include Laurie's entire speech for the quotes section. I wish the Emmys or someone official would recognize how awesome Busy Phillips is on this show.I know the whole Diet Dr. Pepper product placement is going to ruffle feathers among people who go crazy over that sort of thing. To them I say 'get over it!' I rather a show do product placement like this than awkwardly make the characters suddenly all drink the same drink all the time. I thought it made perfect sense in context, for the character of Bobby as well as in the context of him wanting a sponsorship for his golfing. I loved Travis' little "is someone filming this?" comment as Bobby went on about Diet Dr. Pepper. I think people overreact anytime any real product is mentioned or shown in a positive light. I know I've gladly extolled the virtues of Coca Cola before and I don't find it unrealistic for a person to talk about a drink they love. If you can't just do the lingering shots of certain brand names on a show, then I prefer the writers try to be a little creative about it. I was never bothered by the "Chuck" Subway product placement because I know people who willingly rave about the place. Just be happy that primetime shows aren't nearly as awkward as soap operas are with their product placement.
Best Quotes:
Title this week was a long one! "New Year's Resolution: Embrace Our Stupid Title & Lose Six Pounds "Cougar Town" (We love it!)"
Jules: "It's so cool that you and Kirsten are staying for a movie."
Travis: "You said if I didn't, you wouldn't give me money for food."
Jules: "Just say 'you're welcome,' dude."
Jules: "Oh, sweetie, Grayson and I are a better couple than you."
Travis: "Well this sounds like a healthy road to go down with your mom."
Jules: "Grayson, pop quiz! What is my favorite food? What makes me really sad? Who's my celebrity crush?"
Grayson: "Veal, veal again, and Vince Vaughn."
Jules: "Nailed it!"
(Later)
Grayson: "How many did I really get right?"
Jules: "None, but you knew to lie and that's why we work!"
Bobby: "You see those guys over there? One of them just might be a Diet Dr. Pepper executive."
Travis: "Or just a doctor with the last name Pepper. I mean, the odds are about the same."
Tom (after the dove/frying pan collision): "Did someone have a pillow fight out here?...Whoa, there's a dead bird. And a real sad one right next to it."
Andy: "I know it sucks. But this is what happens when doves cry."
Travis: "My dad isn't just my dad. He's part of the Cul-de-Sac Crew. You meddle with one of them, the entire group responds. They're a collective consciousness, like the Children of the Corn."
Jules (after Grayson isn't appropriately sad about the dove dying): "If it was a person, would you still make jokes?"
Grayson: "Probably, because it meant they died sprinting into a frying pan."
Jules: "I bet that's how Bobby goes."
Bobby, while freaking out about the world, screws up his putt. "Will the Internet ever be safe again? Some experts say NO!" And I loved that all the next putt needed was a "DARFUR!" to get shaken. And later, "yeah baby! The world sucks but who cares!"
A perfect example of the difference between men in women in relationships:
Jules: "You get why murdering two animals would make me spiral right?"
Grayson: "I don't."
Jules: "Deep down, you're probably feeling just as sad as I am."
Grayson: "I'm not."
Jules: "You're gonna change someday."
Grayson: "I won't."
Grayson: "You know, I think you're a little emotional right now so I think the smart thing for us to do would be to just chill, not get into any deep conversations."
Jules: "Do you even think we're right for each other?"
Grayson: "Thanks for listening."
Grayson: "Put Big Carl down."
Jules: "No, he understands me!"
Kirsten: "Are we really at a dead lizard's funeral in your mom's yard?"
Travis: "You did this to us."
Grayson (to Jules): "You're an idiot. You're worried that we're not alike enough to be together. One of my favorite things about us is how different we are. It's the couples that are different that really work. I mean, look at these freaks (to Ellie and Andy). His favorite movie is "Die Hard." And she's a horrible person. I've been scared to say this, but all those ways that you're different from me...that's why I love you. I love you Jules."
And now, Laurie's crazy brilliant order at the coffee shop! You can tell they had so much fun with this one and Busy Phillips handles it wonderfully. (It's on Youtube, too, if you feel like watching it)
Laurie: "Oh hey Rache, now bear with me, I have to order for everyone. Okay, I'll have one Soy Largey, one teeny tiny, one teeny teeny tiny unleaded, one Plain Jane, extra yum, (what the hell make it a double yum), a Baby Joey, a Midnight with a Full Moon - hold the pumpkin, a medium coffee, I need a Heavy D in a travel mug please, two Crazy Ivans, a Sauron's Eye. Also I need a 'Damn!' and an iced 'Damn!', a Sneaky Pete, a double drip with a snip of whip, and a frap cap heavy on the (makes crushing sound). Oh, and let's see what's fresh...okay, well I'll take three raisin happy muffins, a French mustache, and, ick, a fart muffin - that is not for me. Oh, and I forgot to order my own coffee! Can I get a Taye Diggs, which is black and extra strong and smooth but also very sweet?" (Barista stands frozen in place) "Would it be easier if I just came back there and made it myself?"
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