"Dexter" season check-up

One of the best parts of my Thanksgiving break was having access to a television with Showtime and the beauty of Showtime on Demand. In the past two days, I caught up on the entire current season of "Dexter." Unfortunately, I won't be able to watch tonight's episode, but now I'll know what I'm missing because this season has been fantastic. It's a wonder that five seasons in, a show can be so well written and acted and just as witty and thrilling as its first season.
Things started off slow, with the aftermath of Rita's murder and the wrap-up to the Trinity storyline. I was a little worried at first because not much was happening. Dexter was dealing with his grief, the police department was a little suspicious, and Quinn was basically being set up as Doakes 2.0. Luckily, since then, we've gotten the Santa Muerte case with the Fuentes brothers as well as the nefarious friends of the late Boyd Fowler. Our season-long guest is Julia Stiles as Lumen Ann Pierce, one of Boyd's soon-to-be victims after being kidnapped, tortured, and raped repeatedly. She witnessed Dexter offing Boyd and now is going after his friends with Dexter. I'm glad they referenced that 'Lumen' is not a name, because I get really irritated when TV shows makes up crazy trendy names and just act like they're as normal as any other name. I've read that some people are critical of the Lumen storyline because they don't want Dexter saddled with some sidekick this season. If this show didn't have great writers, Lumen could have been Miguel Prado 2.0. But I like her addition. Although how could I not love a season that's basically a rape revenge tale? One of the things I've always admired most about "Dexter" is the twisted morality of it and all the ethical questions it poses with its storylines.

I've grown to enjoy the bond growing between Dexter and Lumen. They have both been with each other in moments of great vulnerability and they understand each other, on some level. Lumen isn't some evil genius like Miguel, offing people who are a threat to her professional life. And finally, she confronted Dexter about his activities killing the killers. I was waiting for that moment for a while, when she would finally realize that Boyd wasn't Dexter's first foray into murder. I was surprised, however, that Dexter was the one who openly offered his history. It echoed his prior confessions about his wife's murder and the shocking decision to trust Lumen with his real name. They are each suffering and they are each helping the other work through it. It's grief therapy, "Dexter" style.

I'm still hesitant about Batista and LaGuerta's storyline. I'm invested in them as a couple to a very small extent so it's hard to care about their hot-and-cold relationship. And after LaGuerta threw Debra under the bus for the nightclub shootings, she's quickly losing any 'sympathetic character' status. As for Debra, I still love her. If I could edit my top ten list about unfairly hated TV characters, I would add Deb so I could defend her more. Many people don't like her because she's not a lovable, cuddly character. She's got a hard exterior and interior, but her sense of justice is strong and as innately held as her brother's code, albeit in a more legal way. She's bitter and cynical, but she has good reason to be and often can't help but be swept up in new relationships that are often bad for her. Which brings me to her current love interest, Quinn. I initially hated this guy, mainly because he was just mini-Doakes. And no one is as badass as Doakes. But lately, he's really growing on me. He clearly cares about Debra and he's torn on whether or not to continue investigating Dexter. He's not as certain anymore about dealing with a dirty cop and was hesitant to use "unorthodox methods" to find out the truth. It seems dirty cop Liddy has taken on the new Doakes role and it appears like he's going to find out a lot about Dexter's extracurricular activities. Liddy's working on the sly, unlike Doakes, but at least Liddy would be easier to get rid of. I am curious what Liddy is going to think about his findings. The show hasn't exactly been afraid to reference things in the past and maintain continuity, so I'm kind of hoping Liddy notices the similarities to the Bay Harbor Butcher case.

This season has had some excellent moments. There have been numerous hilarious scenes (Lumen watching, confused, as Dexter analyzes her crime scene), some great heartwarming scenes (Dexter's moment in the car with Astor), and a lot of witty moments. But the most recent episode had this season's big piss-your-pants moment. There have been some great ones in the past, from Doakes' "surprise motherfucker!" to Trinity's "hello, Dexter Morgan," but the final scene of the last episode was just as chilling. Lumen accidentally ends up on the phone with Jordan Chase, one of her tormentors played by Johnny Lee Miller, who leaves a message for Dexter. "Tell him time is of the essence. Tick tick tick. That's the sound of his life running out. Could you be sure to tell him that? Take care, Lumen." Because it's so epic, I've included it below. My absolute favorite scene, though, has to be from that same episode. It found Dexter beating up a man physically abusing his girlfriend's daughter, with Dexter delivering the most intelligent beat-down ever. As one youtube commentor says, "wow, what a violent and educational ass-kicking, he literally taught Barry a lesson." That clip is the second one below.

"Dexter" is still an absolute treat. This season is a toned-down breather after Trinity, but that by no means equals less edge-of-your-seat entertainment. I've greatly admired this show for being willing to slow things down and catch its breath rather than piling on villains, trying to top itself every season. My only question now is how on earth has this show never won the Emmy for Best Drama? Or, better yet, how has Michael C. Hall still not won a freaking Emmy for Best Lead Actor in a Drama Series? Seriously, "Breaking Bad" and Bryan Cranston are excellent, but "Dexter" was here first and it's overdue for a whole ton of awards.

People's Sexiest Men 2010 - same old, same old

For the past several years, I've loved People magazine's special Sexiest Men Alive edition. It's surprising, then, that I'm still surprised by the predictability of it. I wish some people would just be disqualified after a certain number of times so there would be room for new, under-appreciated people.
Ryan Reynolds won this year's title of Sexiest Man Alive, much to my delight. I've had a major crush on him for a while, even if I don't always like his movies. It was nice to have someone different win the big one instead of the usual Johnny Depp or George Clooney or other famous face still hot in Hollywood. Reynolds' career is as hot as he is right now. He isn't in it much, but his role in the first half of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" is my favorite recent memory of him. "Blade: Trinity" is another older one, even though I'm not much into bearded men.

The rest of the list, unfortunately, was nothing shocking. My thoughts:

• I wish Matt Bomer had gotten his own profile instead of just being featured on the Hot at Every Age list. He's doing very well right now in his own starring vehicle "White Collar" on USA network and he deserves his own interview.
  
  
• I'm kind of ticked that Robert Pattinson has to be included. That's a given, but even when cleaned up, I find him incredibly bland. Kind of like a Channing Tatum kind of hot. Nothing about them that makes you weak at the knees (in my opinion), but you wouldn't turn them down if you met them in real life.
  
  
• Apparently, "85% of British women find hairy men more attractive." I'm almost afraid to ask, how do they define a "hairy" man? Scruffy? Bearded? Long hair? Chest hair? Full coverage? Ick. I, personally, am glad the 70s are over and society likes men more clean these days.
  
  
• I'm glad Zachary Levi is included. I feel like a lot of hot guys of TV get overlooked and he could easily get lost in the lists, but he is really sexy and deserves recognition. It's even more surprising to me to see him convincingly play a nerd despite being that naturally hot.
  
  
• I'll admit it right here for the whole world to know - I think Zac Efron is hot. No, I'm not a teenage girl, but I've always had a soft spot for him. I watched the first two "High School Musicals" a time or two, and have secretly been hoping he would transition into a decent adult actor. I just think he's much more appealing and likable than Robert Pattinson or other teen heartthrobs.
  
  
• Second big confession: as crazy as Tom Cruise is now, he was smoking hot back in the day! I had a big crush on him when I was little, back when the early "Mission Impossible" movies were coming out.
  
  
• As a Cincinnati native, I am sick to death of seeing Chad 'Ochocinco' Johnson. Now he's in People magazine. Is there nowhere safe anymore?
  
  
• Thrilled to see Ian Somerhalder in here. He found the perfect role to showcase his sexiness and the world is a hotter place with him in it.
  
  
• I will bribe whoever I need to to make sure Matthew McConaughey never wins Sexiest Man Alive again. It's bad enough he's still listed every year among the ranks. I know it's personal preference, but I do not find him sexy at all.
  
  
• Maybe it's just me, but the list felt shorter this year. Maybe that's just because a LOT of them were repeats. And I think the reason I felt like there were less hot TV men this year is because there were. With a lackluster fall season comes no new breakout fall hotties. What a shame.
  

My Top 10: Phrases in TV/Movies that should be banned

There are certain lines in movies and TV shows that, every time I hear them, I can't help but cringe. There are so many cliches, but I'm talking about specific dialogue that keeps popping up over and over and over again. I first thought more deeply about this after watching the "We've Got Company!" video, reminding us how many times people say that in movies when we must wonder - has anyone ever said that in real life? I am not including natural cliches, like "it couldn't get any worse" because that's not specific to movies and TV shows. I'm not including things that aren't phrases, like "noooo," "get out of there," or, the frequent hacker quote, "we're in." It has to be a little more particular than that. I'm also not including famous phrases that people quote a lot - these lines are not natural cliches or oft-quoted famous phrases, they're just lines from the big and small screen that really need to die. (So, as much as I'd like to include the reality show staple "I'm not here to make friends!," it doesn't qualify for this fiction-based Top 10.)

10. "This ends here"

("And I will strike down upon these motherfucking snakes with great vengeance")

Our noble hero is fed up. Finished. Done with this. So he boldly declares that "this ends here. Today. Right now. I'm ending it." No promises, no vows, just a simple statement that this situation is going to be handled, damnit!

9. "Everything's about to change"

("Wait a minute. I'm miserable...in...the....future...?")

This one is primarily popular in movie trailers and I am so sick of it. Especially in the context of a movie trailer where we don't even have a frame of reference for what is changing and for whom! And if I hear it spoken in a show or movie, it's so blunt and pointless that it really irritates me. Yes, we know everything is going to change. Otherwise, there would be no conflict driving the narrative. And change is scary! It's a prime example of telling, not showing, in its finest form. In case you're too stupid to get it, we're now going to inform you that the plot is taking a turn. Thanks.

8. "I don't know what to think!"

("Wait, the creepy President is the Big Bad?")

Normally, this comes after a bewildered character faces repeated questioning about what he or she really thinks. They get exasperated at all the false accusations and after the tenth time they hear "is that what you think?" They frustratedly blurt out "I don't know what to think!" Their whole world was just ripped apart by some big plot device and they are clueless. Or they haven't come to accept the truth: that the hero is always right about what's going on. You'll think what he thinks. Clear?

7. "This isn't a movie/TV show, this is real life!"

("Come on, Truman, this isn't some TV show")

But this is a movie/TV show! How clever. It comes across as another insult of our intelligence. Sure, the writers are just being tongue-in-cheek normally, but it seems so awkward when we know we're watching a movie/TV show. Or the writers want you to think that this particular show or movie is grounded in reality, not some fantasy world. But it instantly takes me out of said fiction when they have dialogue specifically mentioning that it isn't fiction. If you want some meta, fine, but be more subtle than that.

6. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you"

("Oh, you really didn't kill your wife? Sorry for the mix-up. Let's find that one-armed bastard!")

Followed up 99.99% of the time with "try me." Our aforementioned bewildered character is now trying to get to the bottom of what they really do think and they come across the character who knows exactly what's going on. And he just can't believe it. (Or doesn't care.)

5. "The hunter becomes the hunted"

("My sources report that shit just got real")

I'll be honest, I wanted to put this one higher, but it's used most egregiously in movie trailers, normally for action or thriller flicks. Our big bad hero realizes that the tables have been turned, or some corrupt authority finds it's being targeted by people it trained to epically realize other people's shit. And we're supposed to be in awe over the irony or poetic justice of it all.

4. "Let's go home"

(See you in another life, brother)

Our noble hero has saved the day, reunited with his family, repaired all broken relationships, vowed to settle down and turn in his badge and gun and cherish what he previously took for granted. Talk about more stating the obvious. This is a classic painful line and I'm kind of surprised when I hear it in modern movies.

3. "You don't have to do this!"

("I have an English accent, of course I have to do this!")

Someone, probably a villain, is about to torture or kill a victim. The victim pleads desperately, trying to rationalize why the villain doesn't really have to be villainous. But unless the the villain is actually being forced to do things because his family is being held hostage, he doesn't just have to do this, he wants to do this. Especially if he needs to find the secret Founding Fathers treasure before you do.

2. "You don't want to know"

("What's happening to the Nazis, Indy?!")

How long until the comet reaches Earth? How many carnivorous dinosaurs are on this island? How much more time until the bomb goes off? How long has my quiet English sidekick actually been evil? Where have you been? I think you know the answer.

1. "You have no idea who/what you're dealing with!"

("Death has come for you, friendo")

This one bothers me the most because, most of the time, the hero really does know who they're dealing with. This is inevitably uttered by a henchman right before death, but the villain is free to state this one if he's feeling threatened. Because once you inform the hero that he's in over his head, he'll apologize and go home. Unless, of course, said villain took the hero's family hostage in which case things just get personal and the villain is in for some major pain. Look out, Mr. Villain, we've got company!

Featured article: "'The Event' is One Big, Entertaining Disaster"

I came across this article on tv.com this morning and loved it. Whenever someone posts an article about how much they aren't liking a show or how much a show sucks, every commentor comes to its defense and insists that the writer is just a hater who doesn't even like TV. Yes, it's debate in its finest form. No one can acknowledge that some shows aren't as good as they think they are and some people aren't just being bitter, jaded, miserable humans when they criticize a show. I don't know why I'm still shocked every time a commentor insults the writer rather than their writing. Maybe because the writer made some good points and it's easier to attack a person you don't even know than address the points they raised?

Anyway, here's the link. "'The Event' is One Big, Entertaining Disaster"

It talks about how "The Event" is bad but, for the writer, it's still fun. I agree that it's bad but I was definitely not entertained. If anyone reads my blog and also watches this show, I'm very curious to know why you still do (watch the show, that is). I watched "Heroes" for years way after it got bad, so I'm always interested in why other people stick with bad shows. At least "Heroes" had one great season to get me hooked before it slid downhill.

"Fringe" - "Nobody's going to save you. Only you can save yourself."

It's amazing what can happen to a show in only a few seasons, especially if a network does the uncharacteristic thing of giving it time to develop. The previous seasons of "Fringe" were very low on my radar. I followed the show because people kept saying how good it was and I tried to get as enthusiastic about it as others were. But it was too procedural, too shy when it came to mythology, and it has realized its potential this season by diving head first into the mythology and the characters. The freak-of-the-week cases now serve the characters, not the other way around.
"Amber 31422" took place in the alternative universe with our Olivia, still newly devoted to the alternate Fringe division. I have to say, I'm almost afraid to root for Olivia getting back home because I love the alternate team so much. I hated that they killed of Charlie and love having him back, and Lincoln is great fun too. Charlie, Lincoln, and Olivia are so great together I wish we could take them with us. I'm able to respect their intelligence as well since they had the scene of Charlie wondering if their Olivia really was their Olivia, since she was saying that they were trying to make her think she was someone else. Charlie works in a very militaristic setting, so it's not surprising that he hasn't brought it back up since that is a wild theory, but it was smart to have someone just voice the idea. I think I love being on the alternate side of things because the team is great and we have our Olivia, not the evil Olivia of the home universe. My complaint all the way back in the spring about AltLivia was that she was too one-dimensional and I still have that complaint. I want some more moral ambiguity there and I know that "Fringe" can give it to me this season.

Speaking of moral ambiguity, Walternate is a fascinating character. He is taking drastic measures to protect their universe from collapsing and trying to maintain their amber protocols despite plenty of ethical questions. It's hard to completely condemn this seemingly nefarious character, however, since his drive in life is to protect their world. He views the incidents as attacks on their world as a result of some interdimensional war, but from his perspective, maybe that's not so crazy an outlook. It's hard to see the other side's almost totalitarian efforts at security, but when you look at their world events, you can see how that happened. 9/11 caused the Patriot Act. What would happen if the fabric of reality started deteriorating in some places, causing mass quarantines? This is SciFi how I love it - taking full use of its allegorical powers to ask "what if?"

The case of the week involved twin brothers, played by Shawn and Aaron Ashmore. I always love seeing them. They surface every now and then in SciFi productions. One brother a robber, the other a normal guy, struggle with guilt and shame as it's revealed that the robber was not the one stuck in amber. The conclusion to their storyline was touching, with the normal guy reuniting with his family while the robber paid for his sins and saved his brother from the big bad AltGovernment experimenting on him. This whole episode had the continuing theme of doubles, echoed wonderfully when one of the brothers stated that just because they look the same doesn't mean they have anything in common. By this point, Olivia's doubts about her identity were surfacing more and more and she felt this disconnect between who she thinks she is and who she really is. I like the addition of Peter in her hallucinations and the scene with them in the car at the end was so satisfying. Olivia tries to rationalize, telling Peter "you can't prove anything you're saying." But he counters with "but I know things." Of course, Olivia reminds him "you're in my head." "Exactly," he points out, "which means you know things too. Things about the other side. Things you couldn't possible know unless you'd been there. Unless you were from there." I also enjoyed the touch of Olivia saying "Rachel hates Chicago," using present tense, even though in AltUniverse, Rachel died in childbirth. I would pass it up as a slip of the writing or the actor, but "Fringe" is all about the details lately. I really think those obsessive "Lost" fans should join the "Fringe" fan club if they want to keep analyzing the details. I can't wait for the implications of Olivia's journey to the other side, confirming all her suspicions. Will she make more journeys? Will Walternate find out?

I'm still suspending my disbelief, but it gets tough sometimes. This is an alternate universe where smallpox is still raging, Watergate never happened, and they don't even use pens anymore, but somehow Obama is still president and "The Maltese Falcon" was still made, only starring Cary Grant instead of Humphrey Bogart. Okay, I like the little film trivia bits they add. Like the fact that in the alternate universe, Eric Stoltz really did become Marty McFly in "Back to the Future." But please, stick with the cute little trivia instead of drastic changes like people don't even use pens anymore. I guess no one jots down quick notes in their universe or enjoys simplicity. Maybe they just don't believe in Occam's razor over there in any form. Then again, I suppose simplicity is overrated.

"Grey's Anatomy" - separation anxiety

Coming off of the previous refreshing documentary style episode, "That's Me Trying" was a return to form, but with a twist of November Sweepiness added for extra punch. Lining up all the bombshells took me off guard since we haven't had huge developments like this since last season's finale.Long story short, Arizona and Callie broke up after coming to (verbal) blows in an airport. Christina had a seemingly successful day only to quit her job. Meredith found out that Christina harbors a lot of resentment and blame at her for what she's going through. Bailey tried to find out why Mandy Moore's character died from a routine surgery. Mark and Lexie got along while handling a case of epic (rear) proportions. Owen trained the doctors in trauma response. And we learned that April is still an irritating psycho.

I suppose I'll go backwards, since I kind of listed them in order of descending importance in the episode. With both characters having "cute" freak outs every other episode, it seems like they are trying to cast April as Lexie 2.0. But I don't find April anywhere as likable as Lexie, who took a while to appeal to me, but she eventually became more than just a chipper anti-dark and twisty, anti-Meredith. I suppose April would make a good trauma surgeon in the field, as Owen suspected, but in a hospital, she seems like she's going to snap any moment and go on the second shooting spree. But that's just me. Apparently some people find her endearing. I'm just not one of them. So you can check me off the list of people who want her to hook up with Alex in some way. Izzie, in her heyday, was a strong woman. Alex needs a strong woman, not this strange little girl. I'm also still hoping they do more with Avery. He's a member of the main cast now, he should get time to deal with his trauma.

Lexie's little freak-out, on the other hand, is in character for her. She lets out her crazy in small bursts and in a justified way. Her relationship with Mark really did go to a weird place, but I'm still holding out hope they can get back together now that his daughter is gone. Bailey got her usual - the heartwrenching storyline mixed with Bailey's trademark world-weary snark. She worked with the pathologist on the autopsy to try and figure out why someone who survived the Gary Clark shooting spree could die from such a routine surgery. It felt very realistic and frustrating to me, since I'm sure there are times when you just don't know what went wrong. I liked Bailey's point that science and medicine were letting her down and it was clearly freaking her out. I really hope they give her some happier storylines. She almost had one with that one hot doc, but that actor left for something else, so they wrote that Bailey just couldn't handle a relationship right then to get rid of him. I'm hoping enough time has passed that we can get another romantic interest or just something to give poor Bailey better times. She always gets the most dramatic, most depressing storylines because Chandra Wilson can handle it brilliantly, but she's had enough for now.

I did not see Callie and Arizona's confrontation coming. I figured they'd discuss it calmly and rationally - Callie was only going to Africa to be with the woman she loves, Arizona wasn't not going to go, but she knew Callie didn't really want to go. I kind of loved Arizona's speech that she won the Carter-Madison Grant and is living her dream of helping the tiny humans in Africa. She made some great points since Callie really was being a selfish, passive-aggressive bitch for a lot of the episode. I definitely didn't see the dramatic break-up that happened and I am dying to know how they resolve this. Because I love them together, but I am glad we still get Callie and Mark as friends.
So that brings me to Christina. Oh, Christina. I was wondering why she didn't just quit before, since the only ones who wanted her to be there were the hospital staff. I'm also wondering why she doesn't go for some sort of treatment, since that was what finally got through to Owen after all. I did think she made some great points when she furiously asked Meredith "how are you fine? How are you just completely fine when I am wrecked?" It's a good question, since Meredith was there too. But I suppose it's another freaky thing about science, that trauma affects different people in different ways. It's sadly ironic that Christina performed a difficult surgery all on her own under great stress, showing what a great surgeon she is, only to have it destroy her and all her ambition and drive. In the end, Christina finally went to the Chief and quit. I'm curious as hell to see where this goes and how they get her back to herself again. Also, we now have some friendship mending to do between the twisted sisters.

I'm already getting separation anxiety. The relationships are what make "Grey's Anatomy" strong and have made it especially strong this year, so it freaks me out a little when they divide so many people in one fell swoop. But it is nice to not know what's coming and actually be shocked by a plot turn now and then.

ABC Wednesday - Chirp Chirp, Bang Bang

I'll only be covering "Modern Family" and "Cougar Town" since I only watched the season premieres of the other two and never want to have to watch "Better With You" ever again. But the second hour of ABC Wednesday's comedy line-up is like a gift from above, filled with great pop culture shout-outs and fun characters doing what they do best.

"Modern Family" - "Chirp"
This week's episode found Claire and Hayley sick, Phil hunting for a chirping smoke detector, Jay and Gloria celebrating a mysterious anniversary, and Cam and Mitchell fighting about Lily's acting debut. I normally love Cam and Mitchell, but their storyline was the weakest in this episode. It's unfortunate because normally the show fires on all cylinders, but even when one storyline is weaker, the episode is still pretty good. The smoke detector was used to great comedic effect, with it chirping and secretly saying that Phil isn't a man, because men are in charge of the smoke detectors. When Claire's gym buddy comes to return her lost cell phone and he says that Claire never mentioned she had a husband, the smoke detector chirps and it's a perfectly timed moment. Meanwhile, an old but reliable gag was going on between Claire and Hayley, when Claire tried to convince her daughter not to settle down with Dylan or else she will regret it. (Sidenote: I was thrilled to see the return of Dylan. He's great in small doses though). Of course Hayley didn't get that Claire was talking about her and Dylan, she thought Claire was talking about Phil. Jay had a heartwarming little moment with Manny but I also loved his confusion over which anniversary he was celebrating with Gloria, since she celebrates every little moment in a relationship.

Best of:

• Jay saying he "took care of Jack" and Gloria asking if he killed him.
• Gloria insisting that Jay's "resort wear" was more like "last resort" wear
• Hayley reassuring Dylan that he "doesn't have to conceive of a world without [her]"
• Luke wanting to sell the "organ" and asking Phil to drive him to the black market.
• Jay trying to get Gloria to finish his sentences and expose their plans for the night (unsuccessfully)
  
• Dylan's sex dream about Claire. Made even funnier later by Hayley telling him "I'm just in bed with my mom. Stop freaking out! It is not coming true!"
  
• Every time the smoke detector chirped, especially the last time that sent Phil into a destructive rage
• Luke in the background trying to eat a cookie with the space helmet on.
  
  

"Cougar Town" - "Fooled Again (I Don't Like It)"
If I could recommend only one show for a person to watch this week, it would be "Cougar Town." It had its usual mix of crazy gags but added in a "Spaced" reference and a brilliant homage to "The Usual Suspects." It was Jules' birthday and, naturally, this was turned into a big contest between everyone trying to get her the best gift. Travis and Bobby had their own odd adventure conquering a neti pot, which is apparently some fancy thing for clearing up congestion.

Best of:

• "(Modern) Cougar Town" this week. I absolutely adore the opening credits gag. It's a small, self-aware way to address the title debate.
  
• Calling sensitive men "sensies." A nice "Scrubs" callback.
• If a couple actors hadn't already crossed over from "Scrubs," I would wish that they took place in the same universe. I'm not sure what that would mean though...maybe some guest spots from alumni as their old characters.
  
• Jules takes her Disney characters very seriously. It was mighty impressive, rattling off the dwarves' names that fast.
  
• Laurie finding an app for dramatic sound effects. Sabotage should always be announced in fabulously dramatic fashion.
  
• Jules forcibly changing Grayson's age, especially since it makes her absolutely NOT a cougar!
• Andy and Jules, Hot Dog and Stick!
• The visual gag of Bobby's nose leaking.
• Laurie tricking Grayson and winning the contest.
• Bobby asking about Travis' neti pot. "Is this another one of those snooty college things like that picnic basket you take to the shower?"
• Jules laying down the law about her birthday. "Okay, a few birthday ground rules: no gag gifts, no gift cards, and nothing that I'm supposed to love because it's charitable. Laurie, I'm still pissed you saved an elephant in my name!"
• Bobby: "Hey College! I'm calling you College now because you go to college." Travis: "Yeah I pieced that together."
• Barb's appearance, wanting to tell Jules "about my trip to London and all the time I spent under Big Ben." Andy led her away with "look! A high school track team hosing each other down!"
• Ellie: "Jules, he's an evil genius. He's Keyser Soze!" Jules: "No he's not!" Ellie: "Yes he is!" Jules: "He's not! God! (pause) Who's Keyser Soze?"
• Ellie sitting Jules down to watch "The Usual Suspects." Jules: "You told me before it started that Kevin Spacey was Keyser Soze and I was still surprised! Wait, was he Keyser Soze?" Ellie: "Yes!" Jules: "Alright, so the crippled guy was his evil twin?" Ellie: "No, same guy!" Jules: "Well let's just agree to disagree."
• Jules: "I know you want me to believe Andy is Kiefer Doozy" - even after Ellie makes Jules watch the movie.
• The flashback to Andy making up a story about his grandmother based on random things behind Jules. Also, the parody of the ending where they show that Andy really was faking his sprained ankle. Andy as an evil genius was unexpected but fantastic.
• After Bobby comes back from the hospital. Travis: "So you poured this whole pitcher directly into your lungs? I mean, at some point you must have know you were drowning. Why didn't you stop?" Bobby: "Bobby Cobb never quits!" Travis: "Not even at killing himself?" Bobby: "Not even. That stupid college death pot!" Travis: "Still not a college thing." Bobby: "Whatever, man, it's still the most dangerous thing on my boat." Travis: "Really? I'm going to spin around and say the first thing I see. Loaded flare gun on a jar full of gasoline!" Bobby: "Well that's for when the rats come!"
• Later, Bobby: "You ever looked death in the eye, Trav?" Travis: "Well now that that jar of gasoline has a flaming can of Sterno next to it, I'd have to say yes."
  
• Travis: "Dad, let me list some actual college things, like indie bands, freshman 15, dabbling in lesbianism (that's for girls), encouraging girls to dabble in lesbianism (that's for guys), ramen noodles, keggers, having a black roommate that makes you feel self-conscious about singing all your favorite rap songs..."
  
• Travis walking in on the Finger Guns Mexican Standoff, asking "what are we doing? Somebody tell me what we're doing!"
  
• The final Finger Gunfight. Utterly silly, but all the better because it was a reference to "Spaced." Bill Lawrence confirmed it, even though Travis said "I love 'Spaced'" as he was falling.
  
• Because it's awesome, Entertainment Weekly posted a whole article about the reference and posted all the videos of it and in reference to it: "Cougar Town" does "Spaced"-inspired finger gun shootout: Watch!"

"The Walking Dead" - about as fresh as a zombie

So I finally got around to watching the rest of "The Walking Dead," and I have to say I was kind of...underwhelmed. For all the hype and critical love, it didn't wow me like I was hoping it would. All October and Halloween weekend I've been revisiting tons and tons of horror movies, among them lots of zombie movies. So when I got to watching a zombie TV show, I was really hoping for something different. But what I got was a well-done example of zombie cinema, drawn out longer, but basically the expected elements were all there.

We open, after the credits, on the protagonist, Rick, and his partner Shane talking about women in a police car. It ends with the required set-up - Rick's wife asked him if he even cares about them at all, right in front of their child. Now we've established Rick's quest. Prove your love. Find your wife and son. Reconcile. Then the zombie apocalypse won't matter because you all have each other. A shootout occurs, and 28 days later (or so I like to say), Rick wakes up in the hospital after he ended up getting shot. And, oh my god, total zombie apocalypse! He walks around for a while finding bodies and some zombies, er, excuse me, walkers, before running into another survivor and his son. They give the necessary exposition about what causes you to turn and they bring up a "safe haven" in Atlanta, since that's where the CDC is located and the military can protect you. They eventually split ways. For some reason, the other survivor doesn't want to bother traveling to Atlanta, because he and his son are doing so well where they are? So by all means, shack up in a little house and engage in some target practice to draw in all the zombies in the surrounding area after you kept emphasizing that gunshots attract them.

Rick radios ahead to try to find any other survivors, and would you believe it? His partner Shane hears the broadcast but isn't able to respond. Also, apparently the woman there is Lori, Rick's wife, but for some reason I missed that the first time around. Probably because I was losing interest. That must be why Shane and Lori kissing didn't shock me like it should have. How long has it been since the apocalypse happened? Because if it hasn't been that long, Lori sure moved on quickly. Or maybe she and Shane just resorted to some good old fashioned crisis sex. Oh, and for some strange reason, no one recognizes Rick's voice on the radio. When Rick can't find gas for his car, he makes like a good cowboy and ropes himself a horse to ride into Atlanta. He wanders through the city and spots a helicopter in flight (the survivors from the original "Dawn of the Dead?") only to turn the corner to find tons of zombies waiting for him. The horse gets eaten, which is incredibly sad, and Rick gets trapped in a tank. As hope looks lost, a voice calls into the tank's radio, calling out to Rick aka the "dumbass in the tank."

• First thing I'm missing - did they ever explain what caused the zombie apocalypse? Did Rick ever bother to ask what caused all the insanity?
• Second thing I'm missing - why is no one saying the word 'zombie?' Okay, I know, that's Zombie Movie Rules 101, that you don't say that word, but 'walkers?' Really? A lot of times you really do have to follow the law that pop culture takes place in a void where there is no pop culture, at least as we know it.
  
• The show is based on a graphic novel. Is it just me, or is there some sort of flawed expectation that any show or movie based on a graphic novel should be a huge hit? The nerd population is not as big as execs thing, despite the impressive turn-out at ComicCon.
• I also had to check the facts of the original graphic novel and if it was really set in the South. I have this creeping fear that any show that doesn't take place in New York or California automatically ends up in the South. Not that I have anything against Southerners, but I feel like the "flyover state" mentality causes TV execs to forget about the entire Midwest. Not everyone in a "flyover state" talks with an accent. Just FYI.
  
• I feel like this show wanted to show off its big budget. The lingering shots of zombie killing, zombie feasting, zombified people, etc. Nothing wrong with being well funded, but it always makes me nervous when a show has a huge budget and lots of hype.
  
• I'm eager to know what the drop-off will be in the second week. Will people be up for a zombie show every week after October? Will horror fans forgive the show's utter predictability?
• I'm wondering how on earth they are going to sustain this as a TV series when we've all seen zombie movies. What I need to know is what is this show doing different? What is going to be on this show that I haven't already seen before? You can predict from here that there is going to be some human on human violence, themes of man's inhumanity to man under crisis, echoes of "Lord of the Flies," etc.

Sorry if I sound bitter or if I'm not taking the show seriously enough. But every other professional critic is treating it so seriously, I just wanted to be honest. This show is very well acted and well done, but it's also very predictable at this point and it's nothing you haven't seen before if you don't live under a rock.

"Brothers & Sisters" - "I'm just as lost and damaged and screwed up as the rest of you"

My review of AMC's "The Walking Dead" is in the works, but in the meantime I thought I'd talk about an exceptional episode of "Brothers & Sisters" that took place the same night.In "An Ideal Husband," Scotty's infidelity to Kevin was addressed and viewers were reminded just how emotionally invested you can get in this show when they have a family crisis. And it's all about family, really. The other key terms of the episode were commitment and marriage. It started off nicely with Nora on her new radio show talking about Kevin and Scotty's 'perfect' marriage. For a long time, their marriage has seemed like the most perfect on the show. And I always hoped it would stay that way since, as they pointed out later, every other relationship on the show has ended in divorce or death. But then the Walkers soon find out what we found out at the end of last week's episode - Scotty slept with someone else. I loved the scene where Nora and Sarah found out that Kevin slept on the couch and they kept badgering him, wondering what he did wrong. Perfectly understandable, as I would assume the same thing. Kevin's always the one screwing up relationships, so it was great to get a different perspective on things in this episode. I hated that Scotty cheated, but I liked how the writers handled it. It "didn't happen in a void" - Kevin had been distant, his best friend was in a coma, their surrogate had miscarried, and he couldn't be there for anyone in the months after the big accident, even his own husband. But the writers really tried to emphasize that they weren't blaming Kevin for his husband's infidelity, they were just explaining that things aren't so black and white. Scotty wasn't excused and Kevin wasn't blamed, but rather, circumstances were explained and context was set. It's so easy and tempting in this situation to just blame one party or the other, but it was more complicated than that.

I kept comparing it in my mind to the cheating incident in "Gilmore Girls," where Dean sleeps with Rory while he is married. Lorelai insists that Rory shouldn't "be one of those girls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat." I remember being disgusted by Dean and Rory in this episode, and I was trying to pinpoint why it was different for "Brothers & Sisters." Because I like Scotty and Kevin more than I liked Dean and Rory? Perhaps. But a big difference is that Scotty slipped up once and felt so horrible that he told Kevin about it. He told the truth when he didn't have to. Dean slept with Rory more than just once, and his wife only found out when she found Rory's letter to Dean stashed away somewhere. Also, Kevin was emotionally absent, unsupportive, and lying to Scotty. Not that this is a justification by any means, but it's not as simple as one person cheated on another person who was an absolute angel. You don't want to blame the victim, but "Brothers & Sisters" addressed the necessary - nobody is perfect. Not even my beloved Scotty. The moment between Scotty and Kevin after the fight in the restaurant was heart-wrenching and brutally honest. Kevin was in pain and upset. Scotty had to deal with the possibility of losing his husband and his family. But for the first time, they saw him as someone who is mortal like the rest of us. It got me thinking what an enormous pressure for a naturally good, kind-hearted person to deal with - the constant pressure that you have to be the epitome of all that is good and honest in the world. They made Scotty a more three dimensional character than the saint he's been all along. It was painful to see, but necessary. He admitted that "I'm not perfect. I'm just as lost and damaged and screwed up as the rest of you."

Nora summed it all up very well, when she went back on her radio show talking about the meaning of commitment and marriage. I think they made a great point on why marriage matters. Nora mused that "the thing about a good marriage is even if a terrible mistake happens, you just can't imagine your life with anyone else. That's why you commit to each other. That's why you make vows to each other. That through the good or the bad you'll just keep trying. You're fighting not only for love, you're fighting for something bigger than either one of you. You're fighting for the family you've become. You're fighting for the 'us' you've become. And that really is worth fighting for."

In subplots, Luc and Sarah got engaged, called off the engagement, then re-engaged. The affair spooked Sarah, since she was reminded that the person you least expect to betray you can hurt you, and hurt you more than anyone else since you love them. Kitty thankfully broke it off with the dull handyman or plumber or investment banker or whoever the hell he was. He couldn't have been more wrong for Kitty in the long-term, so I'm glad they just fessed up to who he really was - her rebound guy. I hate that Rebecca and Justin separated. As a viewer, I understand the constraints of the writers when an actor leaves a show. As a person invested in the Walker family, I'm pissed that Rebecca and Justin just gave up and stayed divorced. As they pointed out last week, they both have grown up so much together, that it's painful to see them separate.

This episode proved that "Brothers & Sisters" can still be a great show. As annoying as the Walkers are, you still want to be in their family. The final scene between Scotty and Saul reinforced what the Walkers were all about. Saul said he overreacted and he couldn't pick sides that easy. He sided with his nephew, but he couldn't simply side with family because Scotty is his family too. That's touching to us at home, but it's even more meaningful to Scotty, whose own parents basically disowned him and wouldn't even come to his wedding. These heartbreaking, emotional episodes are hard to sit through sometimes, but they remind us that we can get so emotionally invested in the Walker family. It put the crises back on a personal level. Not to say that the big accident wasn't personal, but it was so clearly a season finale stunt to get Rob Lowe out of the way and tug at our heartstrings. But the mini-crises throughout the season give the actors a chance to shine and they really did here. I was thrilled that Matthew Rhys and Luke MacFarlane got more screentime, even if it was for something so sad. Kevin and Scotty weren't reconciled by the end of the episode, but they're clearly on their way to reconciliation and a better, stronger relationship. In the end, this episode effectively boiled the show down to its essential element - the importance of family.