My Halloween Movie Viewing Guide

Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. It's kind of a bummer that it's on Sunday this year, but really, the whole weekend can be used to celebrate. It's one holiday you can enjoy at all ages. So in the spirit of the season, I made a viewing guide complete with my recommendations on Halloween films. I categorized them neatly in case you're planning a marathon or viewing party, or just have a certain creepy love of horror movies featuring serial killers. Many of these movies could overlap in multiple categories, but I'm going to list each one once in the category it fits with the best. Also warning: possible spoilers. (If I leave off any vital movies, do tell, since I'm limited to the movies I've actually seen.)

What to watch if you're in the mood for...

...a zombie apocalypse

• "Dawn of the Dead" - original or the remake is fine. If you love zombies, you can't go wrong with George Romero.
  
• "Night of the Living Dead" - Same applies here. But this one has an extra helping of creepy because it's black and white from 1968. And it has one of the best creepy scenes ever in the beginning..."they're coming to get you Barbara!"
• "28 Days Later" - Probably the most truly scary modern zombie movie. And yes, I am counting it as a zombie movie. It's a smart, excellent film that puts a spin on the classic zombie flicks by isolating you and making you fear even the places you thought were safe. ("28 Weeks Later" is optional. While scary, it's much stupider than the first movie. And it follows the disaster movie formula of Saving the Important Children.)
  
• "Resident Evil" movies - lots of eye candy and ass kicking here. I don't care what you're into, Milla Jovovich is smoking hot and these movies are pure guilty pleasure.
  
• "Planet Terror"- Robert Rodriguez's contribution to "Grindhouse." Unlike 98% of "Death Proof," this one is actually enjoyable even if you don't know much about the good ol' days of grindhouses. Pure B-movie through and through, this isn't one for the faint of heart. The ick factor is high. (Bonus points if you can find the fake trailers, especially for "Don't.")

....creepy children

• "The Ring" - the one movie that scares the living daylights out of me. While it has moments that make you jump, they're not cheap thrills like you find in "Paranormal Activity" where a door slams and twenty sorority girls in the theater wet their pants. This movie has disturbing images, a disturbing premise, a disturbing evil child, and a disturbing ending. If you want the full effect, watch this at night with all the lights out. If you watch it with someone else and you want to be an asshole, turn their TV back on in the middle of the night playing nothing but static.
• "The Shining" - a great horror movie that deserves its status as a classic and holds up well today. The lack of gore means less camp when viewed years later as well as a more eerie feel to the events. I don't know what they used for fake blood in the old days, but it was too light red and looked like tomato soup. It's hard to take Romero's old movies seriously when zombies tear off flesh like its rubber and Monty Python-esque blood comes spurting out. But "The Shining" avoids this mostly and instead goes for the cerebral scares. And you're left in the end still wondering as the plot isn't neatly explained and wrapped up for you...which makes this film that much scarier. And even though the Blood in the Elevator sequence is pointless, it looks insanely awesome. Emphasis on 'insane,' of course. (Bonus points for finding "The Simpsons" parody called "The Shinning," which I contend is their best Treehouse of Horror parody.)
• "The Exorcist" - still shocking, although you'll get the most scares out of this one if you're deeply religious.
  
• "The Omen" - The creepy child to end all other creepy children. This is another one that combines lots of basic fears into one great movie. Best viewed by new parents. Make sure the babysitter stays away from the roof. "It's all for you, Damien!"
  
• "Poltergeist" - okay, I've never seen this one. But it's considered a classic so I thought I'd include it. I didn't want to leave off a famous horror film just because I haven't been able to see it yet.
• "Children of the Corn" - it combines the creepiness of the country with the creepiness of children. Genius.

...the lighter side of horror

• "Shaun of the Dead" - One of the best movies ever made, and certainly the best horror comedy. Bonus points if you can spot all the references to classic zombie/horror movies.
• "Slither" - it's a horror comedy that's horrifying and comedic. It has some great gross-out scenes and a perfect cast. It's B-movie perfection. Kind of like "Planet Terror" is the serious B-movie homage, this one is the tongue-in-cheek B-movie homage.
• "Scream" - a must-see for any horror movie fan. It plays with the genre conventions and it's an utter delight. Plus, you get Skeet Ulrich looking like a young, more expressive version of Johnny Depp. And it has one of my favorite lines in a horror comedy: "Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative!"
  
• "Scary Movie" - yes, it's crude and silly. But it's also a great parody of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and "Scream." The sequels are unnecessary - the first movie is the best. And it has one of my next favorite lines, which parodies the aforementioned "Scream" quote: "Watching TV shows doesn't create psycho killers! Canceling TV shows does!"
  
• "Zombieland" - not as smart as "Shaun," the characters make some really stupid decisions, and it gets a little too serious in the end, but it's still a good ZomCom. Woody Harrelson is so much fun in this I wish they had never gone to the dark place they go to with him, but then you get the Bill Murray cameo and it sorta makes up for it.
  
• "Ghostbusters" - speaking of Bill Murray, this one is a classic. If you've never seen it, get up right now and find it and watch it. You haven't lived if you haven't seen the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attack New York. Plus, the prick EPA guy is the same prick reporter from the first two "Die Hard" movies. Pissing off John McClane and the Ghostbusters is so not a good idea.
  
• "Freddy vs. Jason" - the definition of a camp classic. Freddy Krueger fights Jason Voorhees. Oh, and if you're like me and you've given up on "The Event" but really liked Jason Ritter, he's in this movie. It's so ridiculous it's great.
  

...found footage type films (warning: may be made of crap)

• "The Blair Witch Project" - never seen this one, but I hear it's basically the next movie, just set in the forest, only instead of spending it in a bedroom with an annoying couple you spend it up someone's nose.
  
• "Paranormal Activity" - I've never watched such a boring excuse for a horror movie, but lots of other people seem to like this one so I'll include it. If you get it on DVD, you can fast forward through all the time they spend just sleeping or the girl spends just standing over the bed.
• "Cloverfield" - okay, not technically a horror movie, but it's sort of scary and if you like these types of movies, you're probably the kind of person who went to see this one too. But come to think of it, none of these movies have happy endings, so don't watch any of these if you have a problem with that. But then again, most everyone in these movies is so annoying anyway that you'll probably cheer when they meet their inevitable unfortunate end.
  

...serial killer and slasher flicks (warning: contains 80s and 90s time capsules)

• "Friday the 13th" - lots of kids get killed at a camp. Oh, and kikikikiki hahahahaha. That's my best approximation of the background music, but trust me, you know that sound. And there's a pre-"Footloose" Kevin Bacon looking very nice. Although this movie started me wondering why the guys wore tighter pants than the girls back then.
  
• "Halloween" - Jamie Lee Curtis gets stalked by a killer. Don't worry, she doesn't have sex, so you can guess what happens from here.
  
• "Prom Night" - Jamie Lee Curtis gets stalker by a different killer. And the music is amazing. The actual prom dance sequence is better than the rest of this movie.
• "Psycho" - the classic reason to avoid motels. And showers. Hitchcock is one of the masters of horror, but I'm more inclined to recommend his other great horror film...
• "The Birds" - ...as birds suddenly deciding to attack us is so simple it's brilliantly terrifying.
• "A Nightmare on Elm Street" - One, two, Freddy's coming for you...in your dreams. Campy for sure, but it's my favorite of all those 80s slasher flicks. The premise is more fun and the villain is more entertaining than Michael Meyers or Jason Voorhees.
  
• "I Know What You Did Last Summer" - I found this to be an exceedingly dull horror movie despite having the 90s cast of all time. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr, and Ryan Phillippe star. I'm convinced the cast was the reason this movie made any money, but is you just love the 90s, you'll enjoy this time capsule of 90s stardom.
• "Urban Legend" - a lesser known, yet still entertaining little movie. Especially if you love classic urban legends as much as I do.
  
• The "Final Destination" movies - if you're exhausted with all the unstoppable superhuman villains of the previous slasher flicks, a "Final Destination" movie could be just the cure. The villain is Death, so you're not left scratching your head at how Michael Meyers won't die, and the characters get really creative death scenes, so you're not bored by campers getting simply impaled or stabbed one by one.
  

...lessons why you should avoid isolated country

• "Vacancy" - another reason to avoid motels. But instead of Norman Bates, you get sadistic hicks and a smarter-than-the-average-movie-couple plot. Nothing new here, but if it's on and you have an hour or so, it's worth it.
  
• "Jeepers Creepers" - utterly terrifying premise and the first half of this movie is fantastic. Everyone knows that feeling of isolation you get just driving on country highways and it uses this to great effect.
  
• "Wrong Turn" - don't get lost in the woods. Just don't. Because you know your car will break down, and your phone won't work, and there will be redneck cannibals, and the sun will set, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself for your stupidity for driving through isolated country!
  
• "The Descent" - don't go spelunking either unless the trail is charted by the officials. This movie, like "Jeepers Creepers," shows their monsters a lot towards the end, but the monsters are still scary as ever when attacking in the dark. Absolutely not for the claustrophobic moviegoer.
  
• "Cabin Fever" - once you're in the country, and you realize you can't stay at a motel, don't stay at a cabin either. Because those cabins are absolutely filthy. Forget about influenza and stray bodily fluids, they're filled to the brim with flesh-eating viruses. And stray 90s sitcom stars.

...something deliciously dirty

• "Rocky Horror Picture Show" - an absolutely insane movie that is definitely a group event. But if the whole interactive event isn't for you, it's still incredibly entertaining on your own.
  

...demons and devils

• "Rosemary's Baby" - the two scariest things about this movie are the dream sequence and Mia Farrow's haircut. There's still a great eeriness that permeates the film. Besides, it's another classic, so why not give it a try?
  
• "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" - Jennifer Carpenter is scary good in this one as a possessed girl. Part exorcist story, part courtroom drama, it's not your run-of-the-mill horror movie.
  
• "Constantine" - not as good as it could have been, but it's still pretty good if you're into religion-based horror. Not to mention that the visuals are fantastic for a movie about heaven and hell, angels and demons.
  
• "Devil" - Lol, just kidding. There's only one M. Night movie on this list worth watching and it ain't this one.
• "Suspiria" - yes, this is about witches and not demons/devils, but I didn't feel like giving it its own category. Besides, most old-school witch mythology is intertwined with the devil/demons endowing them with their powers. But to step back from my mini history lesson, Dario Argento's surreal movie is pretty disturbing, even if it does have 70s tomato soup blood.
  

...ghosts

• "The Haunting in Connecticut" - a more recent haunted house story, it's nothing mind-blowing but it's a solid addition to the genre.
  
• "The Others" - if you know the big twist going in, it's not nearly as entertaining, but if you don't, it'll be a blast. Nicole Kidman and her kids discover their house is haunted. The twist is unexpected and refreshing.
• "Ghost" - okay, not technically a Halloween movie per se, but it has ghosts in it so I'm counting it. It's funny, scary, and romantic. You'll never hear "Unchained Melody" ever again without bursting into tears. Or wanting to make some pottery.
• "Beetlejuice" - a Tim Burton classic, and one of only two Tim Burton movies I love. You're treated to very a young Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, and Winona Ryder. It also has one of the best movie themes of all time.
  

...something nasty that probably qualifies as "torture porn"

• The "Saw" movies - the sequels are pure torture porn, but people forget that the first "Saw" was actually pretty good. Watch and add it to the list of reasons why you should appreciate your life.
• The "Hostel" movies - lots and lots of torture and sadism. Watch and add it to the list of reasons why you should avoid hostels.
  
• "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - watch this one and add it to the list of reasons why you should avoid Texas.
  

...something for the intellectual horror fan

• "The Sixth Sense" - unlike "The Others," this one is still very entertaining even if you know the big twist. And really, who doesn't at this point?
• "Zodiac" - this is another one that isn't technically a Halloween movie, but it's about a serial killer who actually existed and it's got a great spooky atmosphere and a top-notch cast.
  
• "Seven" - like the previous movie, it's another David Fincher film, and it's darn good. Yes, it's not really horror, but a crime film. But who cares? It's scarier than a lot of other horror movies, especially the ones out these days. Torture porn is all about grossing you out and shocking your system, but movies like this one are well written, directed, and acted, and absolutely earn their scares. And trust me, there are scares.
  
• "Silence of the Lambs" - I think crime/horror movies are just fantastic. Why don't they make more of these?

...some horror-related TV instead (warning: also contains vampires. May or may not be authentic)

• "Being Human" - a vampire, a ghost, and a werewolf live together in England. It's not campy like you might expect, but rather a first rate dramedy that lives up to its dark premise.
• "Dexter" - it's a show about a serial killer! And I never turn up a chance to recommend this show to anyone I can.
  
• "Supernatural" - two brothers fighting monsters and the evil that lurks in the dark. The recent seasons are more mythology heavy, but tune in to great episodes in season one based on urban legends, like "Hook Man," "Bloody Mary," and "Asylum."
  
• "Blood Ties" - a short-lived vampire show on Lifetime that came a few years too early to catch on. But it's better than you might expect from Lifetime, and they still managed to cast a lead vampire hotter than Robert Pattinson.
  
• "True Blood" - I've never watched this one, but it's wildly popular and it has vampires. If you can get past the painful southern accents, it should be worth some of your time.
  
• "Vampire Diaries" - the CW show about vampires. More romantic teen drama, it's like a WB small town drama injected with all things supernatural. Also better than you'd expect from the network it airs on.
  
• "The Twilight Zone" - according the the SciFi channel, this is more of a New Years show, but some Rod Serling is perfect for Halloween night.
• "The Walking Dead" - the new AMC zombie show. The critics have gone gaga and the promotion has been ubiquitous, so why not give it a try? AMC is a network you can trust most of the time these days to provide quality programming.

Songs I'm ashamed to admit I know all the words to (Part 2)

Ready or not, here are some more songs I somehow remember all the words to. This has caused me many moments of angst when I wonder, frustrated, "how can I remember the lyrics to every single Backstreet Boys song but I can't remember the uses for the dative case in Russian? Shouldn't there be an easy way to swap useful info with useless info in the brain?"

1. Time Warp from "Rocky Horror Picture Show" - I thought I'd start off with a simple nerdy one. If you know just one song from "Rocky Horror," it's the Time Warp, if for no other reason than it's played on the radio all Halloween night every year. I know plenty of other songs from this perverted little movie, my favorite probably being "Dammit Janet" or "Sweet Transvestite." But "Time Warp" wins a spot on this list because it's the one I knew first word for word. And every time I hear it, it reminds me of Halloween, my favorite holiday, so it also qualifies as a feel-good song.

My favorite lyric: Let's do the time warp agaaaiiinnn!

2. It's Raining Men by The Weather Girls - here's another feel-good song with such a wonderful and positive message. This is one of those songs you just have to know so you can have fun clapping along, kind of like Hall & Oates' Private Eyes (they're watching you, clap clap!)

My favorite lyric: God bless mother nature/she's a single woman too...she taught every angel to rearrange the sky/so that each and every woman could find the perfect guy

3. In For the Kill by La Roux - this is a band that is wildly more popular on the other side of the pond while only mildly popular here. I was in the UK when this song was at the height of its popularity and heard it way way way too many times. It happens to walk the border between catchy-pleasant and catchy-annoying. When I overheard some girls doing this song at karaoke, I realized it's pretty darn annoying.

My favorite lyric: Ooooooooooooooooo (hey, that's half the song right there!)

4. Shadow Dancing by Andy Gibb - I downloaded Love Will Keep us Together because of "Will & Grace." Well, I downloaded Shadow Dancing because of "Gilmore Girls." There's only a brief moment where Lorelai listens to it in her car, but I liked it, got it, and still enjoy it. Tvgirl's confession? I like disco. Would it be cooler if I said I like it ironically? Plenty of people proudly admit they like country music. Live and let live.

My favorite lyric: I can't really decide on just one...the lyrics are pretty generic, but I still love the song.

5. I'll Make a Man Out of You from "Mulan" - Remember the day when your childhood worldview was shattered by reality? Remember when you found out that Santa Claus didn't exist? Remember when you found out that the dashing Captain Li Shang was voiced by Donny Osmond when he was singing?

My favorite lyric: We must be swift as the coursing river/with all the force of a great typhoon/with all the strength of a raging fire/mysterious as the dark side of the moon (who doesn't want a man who is mysterious, like the dark side of the moon? That certainly sounds fancier than tall, dark, and handsome.)

6. Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell - This is another happy Halloween assocation for me. I'm sure plenty of other people know the words, reluctantly, just because of the ubiquitous Halloween radio play. But I bet no one else sings along with it with as much zeal as I do!
My favorite lyric: And I don't feel safe anymore/oh what a mess/I wonder who's watching me now/(WHO?)/The IRS?!

7. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes - this is one of those songs that should win an award in cheese. Also, an award for most quotable lyrics. I think I love this song for its nonsensical-ness and for the fact that it makes two people cheating on each other into a humorous situation where you half expect them both to throw up their arms and shrug as a sitcom laugh track breaks in.

My favorite lyric: I didn't think about my lady/I know that sounds kind of mean (you think?)

8. Disco Inferno by The Trammps - Yeah, I'm not lying when I say I love disco. This is one of those songs that gets really disturbing if you take it literally. I think they should play it at all building demolitions. And cremations. (This song gets bonus points for getting a mention from an episode of "Doctor Who.")

My favorite lyric: Burn baby burn!

9. Schadenfreude from "Avenue Q" - I know every song from "Avenue Q" by heart, but I feel like knowing Schadenfreude is the most impressive. The song is oh so educational, fun, and brutally honest. It's hard to pick just a few lyrics from this song because I think the entire thing is hilarious, like pretty much every other song in "Avenue Q."

My favorite lyric: Being on an elevator when somebody shouts "hold the door!"/NO!/Schadenfreude/Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for...Watching actors never reach/the ending of their Oscar speech!

10. The entire "Scrubs" musical, specifically The Rant Song and Everything Comes Down to Poo - Once again, I know every song in this production by heart. It's less impressive considering it adds up to about 15 minutes of music, but I think it's still random and slightly embarrassing to admit. Guy Love gets all the attention, and it's great, but Everything Comes Down to Poo is funnier in my opinion and The Rant Song is more impressive linguistically.

My favorite lyric: All across the nation/we trust in defecation...our number one test is your number two! (Everything Comes Down to Poo)...It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face, you always need a hug/not to mention all the manly Appletinis that you chug/that you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex/and oh my god stop telling me when you have nerdy sex! (The Rant Song)

11. El Dorado from "The Road to El Dorado" - I've certainly seen this movie enough times to have the music memorized by now. Like all great kids movies, it has a famous singer doing the soundtrack. In this case, Elton John. The wonders of the new world and the difficulties of being a god seem much more impressive when Elton John is there to tell us in song. Okay, he didn't sing that second one, but he does do the fantastic traveling tune The Trail We Blaze. (What trail? The trail that we blaze!....THAT trail that we blaze!) If I ever go on a road trip, The Trail We Blaze should be the first song I listen to. But on the topic of El Dorado, any rabid fan needs to know this one so you can sing along with the opening cartoon narration.

My favorite lyric: And made El Dorado/the mag-ni-fi-cent!
12. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life from "Monty Python's Life of Brian" and "Spamalot" - I think anyone who is alive should be required to know this song by heart. Like Billy Joel's Piano Man, everyone should know this just so they can belt it out when the situation calls for it. Bonus points to you if you can actually whistle along too.

My favorite lyric: Always look on the bright side of death/just before you draw your terminal breath/life's a piece of shit/when you look at it/life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true

13. "Bill Nye the Science Guy" theme song - And back to my 90s past with this one. Back in my day we didn't learn science from stuffy old teachers, we learned science from none other than Bill Nye, a science guy. These days, you kids with your rock music and hip hopping have nothing to compare to that. You don't have anywhere to get your real science education from! You know, except "Mythbusters." (I'll admit, this isn't quite a song, and doesn't have much in the way of lyrics, but just the fact that I know how it goes still is the crazy part).

My favorite lyric: Inertia is a property of matter (Who knows if I would have graduated high school without knowing that vital fact!)

14. Be a Star from "Life-size" - Ah, what a simpler time. Lindsay Lohan was still an adorable child actor and Tyra Banks was just breaking into television. This movie had a peppy little theme song that is still stuck in the recesses of my brain.

My favorite lyric: The lyrics are too insipid and repetetive to select favorites. It was a Disney jingle after all.

15. "Tiny Toons" theme song - I don't remember the plot of any episodes, and I don't remember why I liked this show since I never liked the original Looney Tunes that much, outside of "Space Jam." But I remember the theme song. There are plenty of random Disney and cartoon songs I remember because they were ingrained in my psyche as a child, but I think "Tiny Toons" is the most random of them all. Okay, maybe the intro to Disney's Sing Along Songs videos with the owl and birds in the classroom is more random, but I don't know if anyone else besides me really remembers that at all.

My favorite lyric: We're comic dispensers/we crack up all the censors
16. "Powerpuff Girls" theme song - ah, the mystery of Chemical X. This is one of those cartoons where you wonder what the creators were smoking when they came up with the concept. Just look at the villains! Mojo Jojo? Gangrene Gang? Him?! After the Red Guy from "Cow & Chicken," Him is the most terrifying, ambiguous, bizarre, crimson villain in cartoon history. And it just dawned on me - why was Professor Utonium trying to create the "perfect little girl"? I need to stop thinking about this before my nostalgia turns sour.

My favorite lyric: Also, on second thought, this isn't really a theme song with words either since the only words are during the narration before the music...wait, the theme has words in the ending credits! I know those!

17. "Doug" musical moments (from the Beets to Bangin' on a Trash Can) - Okay, I'll make up for playing fast and loose with my own rules and include some songs that are actual songs. Like I Need More Allowance and Killer Tofu by "Doug" universe band The Beets. I love that "Doug" actually bothered to write and record actual snippets of songs for their fictional band. I think it's one of the reasons I give "Spongebob Squarepants" so much credit - it's similar to many great cartoons of my day that included musical numbers.

My favorite lyric: I need more allowance/yodelayeehoo/why? Because I do!
18. "Arthur" theme song - this is going even further back in my childhood, but "Arthur" is a classic. I even remember everything leading up to the theme song, including PBS thanking Viewers Like You who make the channel possible and the Juicy Juice ad about 100% juice for 100% kids. 100% kids? How's that for phoning in your ad campaign? Apparently the theme's official name is Believe In Yourself, naturally. And it's reggae. I also remember the Jekyll and Hyde number Brain sang in the "Arthur" musical/literary episode which also included an inspiring ditty about getting a library card.

My favorite lyric: And I say hey (hey!)/what a wonderful kind of day

19. I Wish Every Day Could Be Christmas from "The Fairly Oddparents" - I still like listening to this song in the winter. I like to find the episode itself when I can, just so I can hear Timmy's dad go nuts over eggnog again and again. Crazy, obsessive dads in cartoons are fun. That's why "The Muffin King" will always be the greatest episode of "Dexter's Laboratory." I think this song perfectly captures the feeling of a kid on Christmas and how you wish it would never end.

My favorite lyric: New Year's Eve's for mom and dad/the Easter Bunny eggs smell really bad!/Valentine's Day always makes me sad/(Cause Timmy just can't get a girlfriend!)
20. Every song from "Moulin Rouge" - At first glance, this might not seem so odd. Most music in this film was a cover of some other famous song. But for some reason, since I was younger at the time I saw it, I didn't really know all those songs too well yet and I now associate them with the movie instead of the original artist. The song Roxanne doesn't make me think of The Police, it makes me think of El Tango de Roxanne, and so on. I am a little ashamed to admit that when I hear Like a Virgin, the first thing it makes me think of is definitely not Madonna.

My favorite lyric: Rather than mention lyrics, I have to say the Elephant Love Medley is my favorite example of combining popular music into one epic love song.

21. Way too many Backstreet Boys songs - Being a child of the 90s, one of the biggest questions of my childhood wasn't "Team Edward or Team Jacob" (thank god!) but Backstreet Boys or N*Sync. I was a Backstreet Boys girl all the way and didn't come around to N*Sync until, say, about a year ago. It was a little disturbing when I was uploading all my old CDs onto my computer a few years ago and, when coming across the album "Millennium," I realized I remembered the entire song list, in order, word-for-word. That was more like nostalgia resurfacing and hitting me in the face. But I don't care what anyone says, I Want It That Way is one of the greatest songs of all time.

My favorite lyric: All the "tell me why"s. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the key to making a hit song is making it really easy to sing along to.