10. Not wearing weather/job appropriate clothes
("Does anyone realize that I'm actually 41 years old?")
Most shows shoot in LA, meaning they don't get realistic winter weather or very much wind (most of the year). This makes it difficult for shows set in New England to create realistic settings when characters are outside in supposedly December weather wearing light jackets. Just in the Midwest the winter weather is bad enough to render your eyes red, nose runny, hair mussed, and skin dry from a short walk outside. This works in reverse as well for shows set in scorching places like Miami, Florida and not a single character looks hot or remotely sweaty. I also mention job appropriate clothing, mainly for procedurals. Female cops in warm weather climates apparently wear nothing but tank tops and let their hair flow free, even when examining delicate crime scenes. If you're smart enough, they'll even let you wear completely inappropriate goth clothing! (Yes, I'm looking at you, Abby from "NCIS.") I don't mean to be some ultra-conservative who is anti-self expression, but while you're at work at a federal government job, odds are low that they'll let you indulge.9. No one uses toothpaste
("I have twelve cavities but at least my teeth are shiny white and smooth!")
You can't have actors foaming at the mouth every time a character attends to their hygiene, but it's still painfully noticeable when they don't use any toothpaste.8. Intuitive spellers
("Matthew McConahay...McConaghy....Mconuhay....&%@# forget it")
"I need a background check on Alan O'Shaughnessy." "Got it. Two prior arrests, one for assault..." No matter what the name is, no one ever needs it spelled out for them. TV police departments are always filled with snarky geniuses, so I suppose it's not entirely fitting for the smartest people in the room to stop and ask about spelling.7. Huge dorm rooms/living beyond means
(Enjoy, Freshman. You get to share that with three other people. There's a bucket down the hall if nature calls)
This is an obvious one from sitcoms like "Friends," but that's pretty naturally accepted by now and the dorm room one bugs me more anyway. Dorm rooms in "Gilmore Girls" were like luxurious apartments (maybe Yale is different because the students can afford it anyway?). Dorm rooms in the "Transformers" movie were multi-room as well, with plenty of space for a team of geeks to huddle over tons of computers. In real life, a college dorm room is more akin to a storage closet. And I don't even mean that as hyperbole. I've seen rooms that fit two beds bunked because two wouldn't fit in the room otherwise, and two human beings are supposed to live like that. A large portion of dorms I've seen don't even have air conditioning, since most universities are quite old and therefore the dorms are quite old unless they keep up-to-date on renovations. Fictional dorm rooms are like swanky Manhattan apartments - real life dorm rooms are an exercise in solitary confinement, claustrophobia, and heat stroke/hypothermia.6. Old-fashioned answering machines
(Old answering machines are not without their perks)
You know the ones I'm talking about - those ones that play the message out loud. They're a favored plot device when you need someone to overhear something they weren't supposed to hear. Ask Rita from "Dexter" when she heard what Lila really thought about her. Ask Jerry's girlfriend from "Seinfeld" when she heard George relay the description of her 'Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer' laugh. Ask Luke from "Gilmore Girls" when he overheard Christopher leave a message on Lorelai's answering machine. I'm sure there are a million more examples, probably plenty from sitcoms. Does anyone (or at least anyone under 30) still have these kinds of answering machines? This plot device just reeks of laziness, especially from modern shows like two of the ones I mentioned where this accidental eavesdropping isn't even realistic.5. Sunny mornings
(Just another normal 5am breakfast at Luke's Diner in the town of Stars Hollow)
"Gilmore Girls" always bugged me the most for this one, but many many shows have irked me for this. Most any show with kids going to school falls victim to this. Say a kid has to be at school by 8:30. Even if they have to do things before school, like eating breakfast, it will inevitably be bright and sunny outside. I know it would probably suck for the lighting crew to reenact sunrise, especially if any natural light is in the shot and therefore already dictating what time of day it is. But unless you're in a weird Northern location and it's summer, the sun is not out and shining like noon at 6 am (definitely not in winter in Connecticut, "Gilmore Girls!" I hate to keep picking on "Gilmore," but I know the show really well and love it, so these minor pet peeves absolutely don't overshadow its greatness). 4. Fake CPR
(Don't worry, Charlie, your actual death is much more heroic and cool)
Everyone knows (or at least should know) what CPR looks like. Even if you don't know the exact counting and breath/compression ratio (it seems to change every so often), you know that you're not supposed to bend your elbows when doing chest compressions. I even saw a character in a TV show give compressions to a person on a bed. And when all else fails, the desperate pounding Fist of Life will revive a person.3. Taste-testing drugs
("Get Agent Johnson in here to taste all these substances, we need to know what they were cooking!")
What? You mean they don't give lessons on this at the Academy? Surprisingly, law enforcement doesn't encourage their investigators to stick a finger in a mysterious white powder and taste it to identify it as an illegal narcotic. Strange how we can apparently get the reflection of the killer off of the victim's eyeball in an image, but we can't test the drugs in a timely and efficient enough manner for TV investigations.2. Enhance that photo!
("There's a reflection of the killer in the car door! Rotate, zoom, and enhance!")
This is a famous one and one of the many good reasons why I cannot watch "CSI." Investigators will bring up a slightly blurry photo and ask the techie to "enhance it." They then zoom in on the aspect they're interested in, and the photo magically clears up! In real life, you zoom in on a photo and that's it - it's just blurriness blown up. But in the world of procedurals, cameras have higher resolution than us mere mortals can dream of. As I mentioned, you can even get the reflection of a suspect off of someone's eye!1. Empty coffee cups
(Don't lie, Gibbs. We know there's nothing in there.)
Sure, you can't have actors waving around actual cups of steaming hot coffee, risking stains and burns every day. But can we not put water in the cups? Or something semi-solid to weigh it down like bean bags or something? Everyone knows what a cup full of liquid looks and feels like. And everyone knows you don't tip a cup horizontal to take a first sip or take big gulps of supposedly scalding hot coffee.
(Don't lie, Gibbs. We know there's nothing in there.)Honorable mention: No one saying goodbye on the phone; turning off lights never resulting in total darkness; it only rains when something sad/dramatic is happening; carjackers searching for car keys in the glove compartment or visor (who on Earth leaves their keys in the car?); Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry starring Tyler Perry; "I'll have a beer" (which is like walking into a restaurant and ordering a 'sandwich'); groceries in paper bags; windows never having screens; ancient prophesies about the apocalypse foretelling the end of the world at midnight - which conveniently happens to be the same exact time zone as our heroes in California.
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