"Brothers & Sisters" - "I'm just as lost and damaged and screwed up as the rest of you"

My review of AMC's "The Walking Dead" is in the works, but in the meantime I thought I'd talk about an exceptional episode of "Brothers & Sisters" that took place the same night.In "An Ideal Husband," Scotty's infidelity to Kevin was addressed and viewers were reminded just how emotionally invested you can get in this show when they have a family crisis. And it's all about family, really. The other key terms of the episode were commitment and marriage. It started off nicely with Nora on her new radio show talking about Kevin and Scotty's 'perfect' marriage. For a long time, their marriage has seemed like the most perfect on the show. And I always hoped it would stay that way since, as they pointed out later, every other relationship on the show has ended in divorce or death. But then the Walkers soon find out what we found out at the end of last week's episode - Scotty slept with someone else. I loved the scene where Nora and Sarah found out that Kevin slept on the couch and they kept badgering him, wondering what he did wrong. Perfectly understandable, as I would assume the same thing. Kevin's always the one screwing up relationships, so it was great to get a different perspective on things in this episode. I hated that Scotty cheated, but I liked how the writers handled it. It "didn't happen in a void" - Kevin had been distant, his best friend was in a coma, their surrogate had miscarried, and he couldn't be there for anyone in the months after the big accident, even his own husband. But the writers really tried to emphasize that they weren't blaming Kevin for his husband's infidelity, they were just explaining that things aren't so black and white. Scotty wasn't excused and Kevin wasn't blamed, but rather, circumstances were explained and context was set. It's so easy and tempting in this situation to just blame one party or the other, but it was more complicated than that.

I kept comparing it in my mind to the cheating incident in "Gilmore Girls," where Dean sleeps with Rory while he is married. Lorelai insists that Rory shouldn't "be one of those girls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat." I remember being disgusted by Dean and Rory in this episode, and I was trying to pinpoint why it was different for "Brothers & Sisters." Because I like Scotty and Kevin more than I liked Dean and Rory? Perhaps. But a big difference is that Scotty slipped up once and felt so horrible that he told Kevin about it. He told the truth when he didn't have to. Dean slept with Rory more than just once, and his wife only found out when she found Rory's letter to Dean stashed away somewhere. Also, Kevin was emotionally absent, unsupportive, and lying to Scotty. Not that this is a justification by any means, but it's not as simple as one person cheated on another person who was an absolute angel. You don't want to blame the victim, but "Brothers & Sisters" addressed the necessary - nobody is perfect. Not even my beloved Scotty. The moment between Scotty and Kevin after the fight in the restaurant was heart-wrenching and brutally honest. Kevin was in pain and upset. Scotty had to deal with the possibility of losing his husband and his family. But for the first time, they saw him as someone who is mortal like the rest of us. It got me thinking what an enormous pressure for a naturally good, kind-hearted person to deal with - the constant pressure that you have to be the epitome of all that is good and honest in the world. They made Scotty a more three dimensional character than the saint he's been all along. It was painful to see, but necessary. He admitted that "I'm not perfect. I'm just as lost and damaged and screwed up as the rest of you."

Nora summed it all up very well, when she went back on her radio show talking about the meaning of commitment and marriage. I think they made a great point on why marriage matters. Nora mused that "the thing about a good marriage is even if a terrible mistake happens, you just can't imagine your life with anyone else. That's why you commit to each other. That's why you make vows to each other. That through the good or the bad you'll just keep trying. You're fighting not only for love, you're fighting for something bigger than either one of you. You're fighting for the family you've become. You're fighting for the 'us' you've become. And that really is worth fighting for."

In subplots, Luc and Sarah got engaged, called off the engagement, then re-engaged. The affair spooked Sarah, since she was reminded that the person you least expect to betray you can hurt you, and hurt you more than anyone else since you love them. Kitty thankfully broke it off with the dull handyman or plumber or investment banker or whoever the hell he was. He couldn't have been more wrong for Kitty in the long-term, so I'm glad they just fessed up to who he really was - her rebound guy. I hate that Rebecca and Justin separated. As a viewer, I understand the constraints of the writers when an actor leaves a show. As a person invested in the Walker family, I'm pissed that Rebecca and Justin just gave up and stayed divorced. As they pointed out last week, they both have grown up so much together, that it's painful to see them separate.

This episode proved that "Brothers & Sisters" can still be a great show. As annoying as the Walkers are, you still want to be in their family. The final scene between Scotty and Saul reinforced what the Walkers were all about. Saul said he overreacted and he couldn't pick sides that easy. He sided with his nephew, but he couldn't simply side with family because Scotty is his family too. That's touching to us at home, but it's even more meaningful to Scotty, whose own parents basically disowned him and wouldn't even come to his wedding. These heartbreaking, emotional episodes are hard to sit through sometimes, but they remind us that we can get so emotionally invested in the Walker family. It put the crises back on a personal level. Not to say that the big accident wasn't personal, but it was so clearly a season finale stunt to get Rob Lowe out of the way and tug at our heartstrings. But the mini-crises throughout the season give the actors a chance to shine and they really did here. I was thrilled that Matthew Rhys and Luke MacFarlane got more screentime, even if it was for something so sad. Kevin and Scotty weren't reconciled by the end of the episode, but they're clearly on their way to reconciliation and a better, stronger relationship. In the end, this episode effectively boiled the show down to its essential element - the importance of family.