My Top 10: Internet Habits that Need to Die

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd rant about some things that have been bothering me for a while - the annoying Internet habits of others. Most of them concern youtube comments outside of the run-of-the-mill "pointless fights" complaint. We can all agree that we hate trolls and spammers, but I'm talking about the littler things that so many people do that just plain get on my nerves. [Warning: I am going to sound very bitter]

10. Youtube: "X brought me here!"


This isn't a huge pet peeve, but it's a pet peeve nonetheless. It's fun to show solidarity if a certain website or show brought you to a video. But it's also incredibly irrelevant to most other people. Then there are inevitably the people who are like, "well, I brought MYSELF here!" and it erupts into bitterness. Can't we all just agree that we like the video, whether we were were brilliant enough to find it on our own or not? People act like there's some pride to be had from finding a song on your own while discovering it through a TV show or movie is beyond reprehensible.

9. Any comments section: Liking your own comment

The absolute height of comments desperation and self-absorption. Like the crazy cousin of the troll, the person who likes their own comment tends to be someone with deeply passionate contrarian beliefs who wants to show they mean what they say and they are smart, damnit! Although I'd probably be more concerned if someone posted an opinion and then disagreed with themselves.

8. Facebook: Treating Facebook like Twitter
Unless you're actually posting your Twitter updates to Facebook, don't use hashtags. Hashtags are pointless on Facebook.

7. Youtube: "If I get X many thumbs up I'll do something wacky!"

Oh, really? If you get 100 thumbs up, you're going to perform the dance in the video at a club? If you get 500 thumbs up, you'll perform this wacky routine in class? And you'll post it on youtube so you can prove you really did it, right? Yeah, I thought so.

6. Any comments section: "First-world problems!"



Nothing annoys me quite like this. It surfaces a lot with Facebook redesigns and, lately, the Netflix clusterfuck. Someone inevitably declares that everyone is a moron and they should count themselves lucky if their biggest problem is Netflix raising prices. First of all, no one said that a site redesign or price hike is their biggest problem in life. But this breed of commentor insists that no one can complain about the little annoyances in their life because someone, somewhere is SUFFERING. By this logic, pretty much no one can ever complain about anything, because there will always be a worse issue to make your issue look small. The funniest ones are when the commentor complains about how everyone is talking about a "frivolous issue when there are wars going on" on an entertainment news site. But my biggest problem with this commentor is the fact that it's 95% likely they themselves live in a first-world country. And I doubt that they never, ever complain about anything.

5. Facebook: Constant resdesigns
"First-world problems!" Yes, I know it's silly to get irked over this, but it just doesn't make sense to me to keep fixing what isn't broken. A redesign every few years or once a year, I get. But the redesigns every few months just irritate your users who have to relearn how to use your site each time. This is especially annoying for the older generation who didn't learn the ropes very quickly the first time around. At this point, someone naturally says "then stop using Facebook, dumbass!" I would like to remind everyone that not every person who uses Facebook is an attention-starved fake who hoards "friends" to seem popular and loved. Some of us use it because it's a great way to stay in touch and share things with friends and family scattered around the country.

4. Youtube: Jokes about the number of people who disliked a video

These are funny the first couple of times you see them. I can still stand them if they're clever. But after a while, you just want people to shut up already about the people who disliked the video. And for some reason, these types of comments are probably the most popular, right up there with my Number 1 complaint. This is also annoying because the number of dislikes is constantly changing. And it smacks a little of "anyone who disagrees with me should be shot." (The above example comment is from Devo's "Whip It," hence the whipping comment. It wasn't really a violent outburst, although it's the Internet so this could pop up word-for-word on any video and it wouldn't seem too weird, unfortunately.)

3. Youtube: "I love this music, and I'm X years old! Today's music is crap!"


I'm a big fan of Motown, Disco, and 80s music despite the fact that I wasn't even alive in any of these eras. But people still seem to think that liking any decade of music outside your own is something rare and commendable. It's almost like it's impossible to praise one genre/decade without putting down another. Is there a law against liking Classic Rock AND Disco? Is there a law against loving music from today and music from the 50s? Is there a law that says kids can't like music from past eras? No, but people online act like there is.

2. Facebook: "Repost this as your status if you support X/if you're my true friend!"

I only have one friend who posts these, but one is enough. I blocked her updates after a while because I just couldn't stand it anymore. I am obviously pro-cancer because I didn't post your Fight Breast Cancer message for an hour as my status. I am obviously not your true friend because I didn't repost that sweet message about friendship. I'm obviously a sheep because I'm one of the 99% of people who won't repost your message. And you are obviously making a difference in the world by posting all those messages about such important issues. Bravo.

1. Youtube: "Thumbs up if you're listening in 2011!"


This one makes me want to reach into my computer and strangle the commentor when I see it. How the hell does this comment keep getting thumbs up from everyone? Do you think someone's going to respond, saying, "I don't listen to this anymore but I came to the video today to make sure everyone knows that"? Or "I'm listening to this in 2045!" "I'm listening to this in 1994!" This started out as someone making a point that they were still listening to a song from another era regularly, but it devolved into this inane statement. And it drives me crazier than any other Internet habit does.